Whether it is rain or shine, these weather jokes are sure to crack a smile and even a laugh. We can all relate to the weather and the weather even be unpredictable at times. For example, did you know that the highest temperature ever recorded on Earth was 134°F (56.7°C) in Death Valley, California, on July 10, 1913 and the lowest was -128.6°F (-89.2°C) at Vostok Station in Antarctica on July 21, 1983. That’s is a huge difference in temperature!
However, no matter the temperature, the funny weather jokes and puns will surely off a ray of sunshine that will brighten up your day.
Weather Jokes For All Occasions
1. Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
She expected some change in the weather.
2.What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
3. What did one hurricane say to the other?
“I have my eye on you.”
4. What’s Irish and stays outside your house all year no matter the weather?
Paddy O’Furniture.
5. How do you find out the weather when you’re on vacation?
Go outside and look up.
6. How do you prevent a summer cold?
Catch it in the winter.
7. How do hurricanes see?
With one eye!
8. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
9. What falls but never hits the ground?
The temperature.
10. What does everyone listen to, but no one believes?
The weather reporter.
11. What type of lightning likes to play sports?
Ball lightning.
12. What did one lightning bolt say to the other?
“You’re shocking!”
13. Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?
Let’s just say it was an udder disaster.
14. What did one thermometer say to the other thermometer?
“You make my temperature rise.”
15. What happens when the fog lifts in California?
UCLA!
16. Did you hear the weather forecast for the hiphop festival?
They’re calling for a Lil Wayne
17. What did the tornado say to the sports car?
“Want to go for a spin?”
18. When are your eyes not eyes?
When the cold wind makes them water!
19. What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
Twister!
20. Why do Native Americans hate rainy weather in April?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
More Funny Weather Jokes for a Ray of Sunshine
The center of a hurricane, known as the eye, is typically calm and clear, with low wind speeds and often sunshine, contrasting sharply with the powerful winds of the surrounding eyewall. Funny weather jokes can serve as the eye of the hurricane if you have a storm raging around you – so here are more of them!
21. Did you hear about the man who won gold at a weather forecasting event yesterday?
He beat the raining champion.
22. What did one volcano say to the other?
“I lava you.”
23. What bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow.
24. What is the opposite of a cold front?
A warm back.
25. May cat seems to like stormy weather.
When it rains, it purrs.
26. I heard Humpty Dumpty had a great summer…
But he had a horrible fall.
27. Why is the sun so smart?
It has over 5,000 degrees.
28. What do you call it when it’s pouring ducks and geese?
Fowl weather!
29. What is the best day to go to the beach?
Sun-day, of course.
30. Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
Fo’ drizzle.
31. What does a spy do in cold weather?
Goes under cover.
32. If an orchestra plays in a thunderstorm, who’s most likely to get struck by lightning?
The conductor.
33. What is a king’s favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
34. Where do lightning bolts go on dates?
To cloud nine.
35. Why did the man hate windy weather?
Because it really blows
36. How hot is it?
It’s so hot that when I turned on my lawn sprinkler, all I got was steam!
37.What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
38. How much does it cost Santa to ride his sleigh around the world?
Eight bucks. Unless the weather is bad, then it’s nine bucks.
39. Where do snowmen keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Even More Funny Weather Jokes for All Seasons
You will often find weather jokes about the climate. But did you know that weather refers to the short-term conditions of the atmosphere, while climate describes the average weather patterns over a longer period, usually 30 years or more. However, this does not makes a big difference when it comes to having a good laugh!
40. Why did the tourist refuse to see the Eiffel Tower in cloudy weather?
Because he didn’t see the point.
41. My coworker Kelvin recently retired from the weather station and was replaced by a new guy named Celsius
He’s the new temp.
42.What does Royalty wear during stormy weather?
A Reign Coat.
43.What is a zombie’s favorite type of weather?
A brainstorm.
44. Have you watched the Weather show on Netflix?
I have been enjoying it very much. All 4 seasons of it
45. What cloud is so lazy that it never gets up?
Fog!
46. Did you hear about the man who went on a date with the weather girl?
Turns out that it was pretty hot
47. My wife filed for divorce because I am a weather reporter.
That was not what I predicted
48. What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up and the other rains down.
49. What do you call a kidney doctor who can also predict the weather?
A meaty-urologist.
50. What did one raindrop say to the other?
“Two’s company. Three’s a cloud.”
51. What is Santa’s favorite weather?
It’s rain, dear!
52. What do you call a bear that got caught in a storm?
A drizzly bear.
53. What is a queen’s favorite kind of precipitation?
Reign!
54. What does a weatherman wear under his trousers?
Thunderpants.
55. Did you hear about the woman who wore sunglasses?
She took a very dim view of things.
56. Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
They peel!
57.Why did the lightning get into trouble?
It didn’t know how to conduct itself.
58. What do you eat when you’re stuck in cold weather and angry about it?
A brr-grr.
59. How did my cat know about tomorrow’s weather?
He looked at the fur-cast.
60. What do you call a weather joke with a bad punchline?
An anti-climactic climatic joke.
61. A battleship was out at sea during heavy weather for several days. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.” “Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out. Lookout replied, “Steady, captain.” The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.” Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.” The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.” “I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.” By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.” Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.”
We are sure that you have enjoyed this huge list of weather jokes. We also think that you will enjoy these funny Harry Potter jokes and funny rain jokes too!