Waiter jokes are great for a laugh, especially after a hard day of work. Did you know that the term “waiter” was actually used to originally describe household servants who waited on tables. Eventually this developed into a profession in the hospitality industry, particularly in restaurants and hotels.
These waiter jokes also run the gamut of the experiences of being a waiter. We think they are definitely worth waiting around for a good laugh.
Funny Waiter Jokes for a Good Laugh
1. In which sports do waiters do really well?
Tennis. They are trained to serve well.
2.Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu?
Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.
3. Customer: Waiter, there’s a button in my salad.
Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.
4. People say being a waiter is a bad job…
But, hey, it puts food on the table.
5. Customer: There’s a neutron in my soup.
Waiter: Don’t worry sir. There will be no extra charge.
6. Waiter: Can I take your order?
Customer: No, I want it.
7. Customer: We don’t eat dairy, eggs, meat, soy, gluten, or nuts. What do you recommend we get?
Waiter: Out.
8. Customer: Waiter! Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!
Waiter: I’m not surprised, sir, it was ground only a few minutes ago.
9. Customer: I can’t eat this food, it’s terrible.
Waiter: Well its no good complaining to me, I won’t eat it either.
10. Manager: What makes you qualified to be a waiter
Interviewee: I feel like I bring a lot to the table
11. Waiter: How would you like your steak sir?
Customer: Like winning an argument with my wife. Waiter: Good choice, rare it is.
12. “Waiter waiter! what am I eating?” “It’s called the Tomato Surprise” replies the waiter
“But I don’t see any tomatoes?” “That’s the surprise,” he said.
13. Customer: Waiter! There’s a spider in my soup. Send for the manager!
Waiter: It’s no good, sir, he’s frightened of them, too.
14. Waiter: I see you glass is empty, would you like another one?
Customer: Why would I want two empty glasses?
15. Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?
Have you ever heard anyone complaining of an elephant in their soup?
16. Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?
Waiter: No sir, they will be round.
17. Excuse me waiter, there’s a problem with my salad…
I think it needs addressing
18. Customer: Waiter! Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Shush sir, or they’ll all want one.
19. Customer: There is a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Hold on sir, I’ll get the fly spray.
20. Customer: Waiter, my fish was dry.
Waiter: We had to take it out of the water.
More Waiter Jokes to Share at the Workplace
Being a good waiter requires a combination of skills including excellent customer service, multitasking, memory and physical stamina. Perhaps they should also add being able to tell funny waiter jokes as one of the skills needed too!
21. Customer: Waiter, there’s a frog in my soup!
Waiter: Yes sir, the fly’s on holiday!
22. Customer: Waiter! Waiter! There’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they’re not very good swimmers.
23. Customer: Waiter! Waiter! Do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Yes sir, take a seat. We’ll serve anyone.
24. Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough.
Waiter: That wasn’t the crust, that was the pie plate.
25. Customer: There is a caterpillar in my salad!
Waiter: I’m sorry sir, I didn’t realise you where a vegetarian!
26. Customer: Waiter! Waiter! This soup tastes funny.
Waiter: So why aren’t you laughing?
27. What did the waiter say to the horse?
“I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.”
28. Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back?
Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife’s cooking.
29. Customer: Why are the waiters in here so nasty?
Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.
30. Customer: Waiter, I can’t seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup.
Waiter: Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?
31. Customer: Can you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?
Waiter: Sorry, sir, but I’m pretty sure she wants to eat it herself.
32. A customer asks the waiter, “How do you prepare the chicken?”
The waiter replies, “W e tell them right up front, you’re not going to make it.”
33. Did you hear about the IT worker who tried to flirt with a waitress and failed miserably?
He just couldn’t connect to the server.
34. Waiter: I’m glad you enjoyed your dinner. How did you find the steak?
Customer: Quite by accident, I moved my potato and there it was.
35. Customer: Why doesn’t your menu list prices?
Waiter: We didn’t want to make you sick before the food does.
36. I complained to my waiter that my alphabet soup had no letters between ‘T’ and ‘V’
They said “That sounds like a ‘U’ problem”
37.If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant…
Doesn’t that make you the waiter?
38. What does a cannibal say to a waiter on a cruise ship?
“Please bring me the passenger list.”
39. Customer: “Waiter, I’d like a bottle of wine.” Waiter: “What year, sir?”
Customer: “Well, I’d like it right now.”
40. Customer: There’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Don’t worry Sir, the spider in your salad will get it.
Even More Waiter Jokes and Puns
We know that you want more waiter jokes and puns. We have them lined up for your service below!
41. Customer: Why doesn’t this restaurant have any specials?
Waiter: Because nothing about this food is special.
42.Waiter: These are the best eggs we’ve had for years.
Customer: Well, bring me some you haven’t had around for that long.
43.Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.
Waiter: They are. She couldn’t cook either.
44. A cannibal walks into a restaurant. He said to the waiter, “Please give me some children to eat.” The waiter was surprised and asked, “What are you talking about?”
“The sign at the entrance says half price for children.”
45. Did you hear about the man who wanted to impress his date by ordering his whole dinner in French.
The only problem was that it was a Chinese restaurant.
46. I got served by a one armed waiter the other day
You have to hand it to him
47. Customer: There is a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Sorry sir, maybe I forgot about it when I removed the other three.
48. Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot!
49. At a restaurant a waiter comes over and asks a man, “Comfortable sir?”
“No no, comforfood”
50. My waiter just spilled coffee all over me.
I know it was just an accident, but I’m still bitter.
51. Customer: Hi, is my table ready? Waiter: No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?
Customer: No, that’s okay. Waiter: Great, take these salads to table six then.
52. Waiter: Do you want to hear today’s special? Customer: Yes please.
Waiter: No problem sir. Today is special.
53. He got the order wrong.
Why did the customer get upset at the waiter?
54. Customer: There is a fly in the butter!
Waiter: Yes sir, it’s a butterfly!
55. Say what you want about waiters.
But I think they bring a lot to the table.
56. Why was the United Nations concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
57.Waiter: Did everything come out alright?
Customer: Not yet, but I’ll let you know in a couple hours.
58. A man walks into an Indian restaurant. The waiter asks, “have you ever ordered here before?” The man replies, “No, I haven’t.” The waiter continues, “We’re a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form,” and he hands a piece of paper to the man. The man squints at the paper and reads the single sentence, “We have naan at this restaurant.” The man looked up, puzzled, and asked why he needed to sign this worthless statement.
The waiter replied, impatiently, “Just sign the naan disclosure agreement and we can move on.”
59. A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. “Are you crazy?” yelled the customer, “with your hand on my steak?” “What” answers the waiter, “You want it to fall on the floor again?”
60. A mathematician goes to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician’s order. “I’d like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please,” he requests.
‘Why sir!’ Exclaimed the waiter. ‘That’s an order of magnitude!’
61. Her: I’ll have the salad, no nuts, please.
Waiter: Of course.
Me: It didn’t say it had nuts.
Her: I’m allergic, so I tell them to be safe.
Me: That makes sense.
Waiter: And for you?
Me: Steak, no bees, please.
We hope that you’ve enjoyed this funny waiter jokes. If you have, we think that you will also enjoy these chef jokes and these donut jokes.