Squirrels are cute animals and it is no wonder that you can find many squirrel jokes about them. There are over 200 species of squirrels, categorized into three types: tree squirrels, ground squirrels, and flying squirrels. These squirrels inspire many funny jokes and puns.
Did you know that squirrels belong to the rodent family, making them relatives of rats, mice, and beavers. However, we don’t think that quite as many people like rats and mice though. Let’s get down to some funny squirrel jokes for a good laugh.
Funny Squirrel Jokes and Puns
1. What famous squirrel tells the future?
Nutradamus.
2.I saw a squirrel this morning cycling through the park.
I didn’t know they could ride bikes!
3. Why do neutered dogs always chase squirrels?
They’re just trying to get their nuts back.
4. What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet?
The Nutcracker.
5. What’s a squirrel’s favorite channel?
Nutflix.
6. What do rich squirrels eat?
Cash-ews.
7. What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel.
8. What did one squirrel say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m nuts about you!”
9. What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
“It won’t be long now!”
10. Why did the squirrel bury her lottery tickets under a bush?
She was hedging her bets.
11. What is a doctor for overweight squirrels called?
A nut-tritionist.
12. Why do employers love hiring squirrels?
You can literally pay them peanuts.
13. How can you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
14. What’s a squirrel’s favorite seasoning?
Nutmeg.
15. What did the tree say to the squirrel?
“Just leaf me alone!”
16. Where do squirrels end up during hurricanes?
It depends on which direction the wind is blowing.
17. Why didn’t the squirrel eat the macadamia?
It was a tough nut to crack.
18. What’s the difference between a rat and a squirrel?
Nothing, really — the squirrel’s just a rat in a cuter outfit.
19. What do you get when you mix a rat with a sea snake?
A squirr-eel.
20. Why are so many squirrels rich?
Because they are good at squirreling away their money.
More Squirrel Jokes to Squirrel Away
Squirrel jokes are often about nuts. But did you know that squirrels are omnivores. While they primarily eat nuts, seeds, and fruits, they also consume insects, small birds, and eggs.
21. What is the squirrel internet called?
The nutwork!
22. What does a dog say after chasing a squirrel up a tree?
“Bark!”
23. What did one squirrel’s family say after he came back from the movie theater?
“Tail us all about it!”
24. What did the dad squirrel tell his family?
Acorn-y joke.
25. Why don’t squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
26. What did the squirrel do to try and impress his date?
He went out on a limb.
27. How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there is the real mystery.
28. What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmonk.
29. Where do squirrels go for summer vacation?
To beech trees.
30. What do you call a squirrel that solves crimes?
Squirrel-lock Holmes.
31. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite kind of flower?
Forget-me-nuts.
32. What did the squirrel say to the police dog?
“Stop barking up the wrong tree and don’t act like a nut.”
33. Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
Because he was foraging checks.
34. What do squirrels wear on their feet?
Ca-shews.
35. Why did the squirrel get lost in the woods?
It followed the wrong root.
36. What did the squirrel say to its family before it left for work?
“I’m gonna go out on a limb here.”
37.What did the squirrel say when he had to choose between staying still or jumping down?
I’m really on the fence about this one
38. What’s a squirrel’s favorite movie?
The Social Nutwork.
39. How did the squirrel try to impress his date?
He went out on a limb.
40. I got thrown out of the park after rearranging all the squirrels by height.
They didn’t like me critter-sizing.
Even More Squirrel Jokes
Squirrels are known for hoarding food. They bury nuts and seeds in various locations to retrieve them later, a behavior known as caching. Here are more jokes about squirrels, including this specific behavioral trait!
41. I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I’m going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
42.What did the squirrel say when he was late for work?
“I’m sorry, but the traffic was absolutely nuts.”
43.What smells like nuts but is impossible to see?
Squirrel farts.
44. Why did the squirrel bury the tin of fish?
Because tuna spelled backward is “a nut.”
45. Why did the squirrel take her car apart?
She wanted to see the nuts and bolts of it.
46. What did the squirrel say when he had to decide whether to stay or jump?
“I’m really on the fence about this one.”
47. What did the first squirrel say when the second squirrel put twigs in the frying pan?
“What are you doing? This is a non-stick pan!”
48. What do you call a squirrel in charge of a bank?
A branch manager.
49. A wise squirrel once said, “You are what you eat”.
Don’t believe him, he was a nut.
50. If a squirrel and a raccoon were playing Scrabble, who’d win?
The squirrel, because it has a “Q.”
51. What do you call a squirrel that goes to space?
An astro-nut.
52. How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
53. How do you catch a squirrel who’s interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
54. What do you call a food advisor for squirrels?
A nut-ritionist.
55. What’s a squirrel’s favorite kind of joke?
Acorny one.
56. What do you call a female squirrel?
A girrel.
57.Did you hear about the new squirrel diet?
It’s just nuts.
58. A man, a squirrel, and 2 bees are going on a road trip. On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” It works, until they run out of gas again. The second bee steps up and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” It works, until they run out of gas for the third time. This time the squirrel chimes in and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” But the man says, “Don’t bother, she only runs on BP.”
We that you have enjoyed these funny squirrel jokes, if you have, we think that you will enjoy more animal jokes such as these rat jokes and giraffe jokes!