Sports are a universal part of worldwide cultures. That is also why sports jokes are so well received by everyone. Whether you have a favorite sport or are just a sports fan in general, sports jokes can be a great way to share the laughter.
Sports Jokes That Score for Sure
1. What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
Yellow cards.
2.In which sports do waiters do really well?
Tennis. They are trained to serve well.
3. What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
4. What’s a philosopher’s favourite sport?
Discuss.
5. Which sport is the quietest?
Bowling. You can hear a pin drop.
6. Why are Canadians so good at sports?
They always bring their eh game.
7. What is the noisiest sport?
Racquetball
8. Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?
They were women’s teams.
9. Why was the basketball court wet?
Because people were dribbling on it!
10. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case, he got a hole in one!
11. What did the lacrosse stick say to the ball?
“Catch ya later.”
12. What sport does the koolaid man play?
Baseball. He’s a pitcher.
13. Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?
It’s full of fans.
14. Why is it so hot at a Phillies game?
Because they don’t have many fans.
15. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
16. Did you know that sports extends your age?
I went jogging today morning and felt like 90 years old.
17. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?
Forget it. It’s way over your head.
18. What are the rules for zebra baseball?
Three stripes and you’re out.
19. I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
20. If the mafia ran a sports shop, what would it sell?
Protection racquets.
21. Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
He was tired of being kicked around.
22. What position do ghosts play in soccer?
Ghoulie.
23. Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?
Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.
24. Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?
Because he was always putting on Airs.
25. I’ve got a great idea for an NBA-themed fast-food restaurant.
Shake-Shaq.
26. Why did the basketball player go to jail?
Because he shot the ball.
27. Which sport does the grim Reaper play?
Sickle Ball
28. Why would you argue with a ref?
I have never seen a ref say, “Dang, you’re right! Let me just take back this yellow card.”
29. Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run!
30. Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?
If he raises them both, he’d fall down.
31. Have you guys tried the new sport of blindfold archery?
You don’t know what you’re missing.
32. Where do they keep the largest diamond in New York City?
Yankee Stadium.
33. A man leaves home, makes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him.
They’re the catcher and umpire.
34. Why did the baseball team hire a baker?
They needed a new batter.
35. What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves?
The fence.
36. Why are some umpires chubby?
It’s their job to clean their plates.
37.What does a baseball player do when he starts losing his eyesight?
He becomes an umpire.
38. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
He wanted to tie things up.
39. Which goalie can jump higher than the crossbars?
All of them. Crossbars can’t jump.
40. Why can’t you play soccer in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!
More Sports Jokes That You Will Appreciate
Sports have seen many legendary players that have inscribed themselves into the memory of the world. These funny sports jokes will also be legendary and lend themselves to many times full of laughter.
41. Which soccer player wears the biggest cleats?
The one with the biggest feet.
42.What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
One steals watches and one watches steals.
43.When should baseball players wear armor?
When they’re playing knight games.
44. Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?
Dunkin’ Donuts.
45. What do you call the basketball play where you drink too much and then score?
Slam Drunk.
46. How can you tell that paintball is a very violent sport?
It involves a lot of dyeing
47. Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website?
They can’t string together three Ws.
48. What do prison guards and basketball guards have in common?
They’re both supposed to protect you.
49. If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what’s an astronaut get?
Missile Toe!
50. Why was the basketball player sitting on the sidelines drawing chickens?
Coach told her to learn how to draw fouls.
51. What does a basketball player do once he loses his sight?
Become a referee.
52. Why do basketball players like cookies?
It’s just another excuse to dunk.
53. Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
54. I’m thinking of creating a fantasy show about basketball.
I’ll call it Hoopernatural.
55. What do you call a monkey who wins back-to-back titles?
The Chimpion.
56. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
“Catch ya later!”
57.Where do catchers sit at lunch?
Behind the plate.
58. Where do you keep your mitt while driving?
In the glove compartment.
59. Which baseball player holds water?
The pitcher.
60. Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.
61. What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.
62. What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.
63. I love the fall. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the World Series.
Just like the Dodgers.
64.. How do baseball players keep in touch?
They touch base every once in a while.
65. Why are basketball players such messy eaters?
They’re always dribbling.
66. What sport is played by angry french people?
Lacrosse
67. Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
They aren’t allowed to travel.
68. What do you call a basketball-playing shark?
Sharq.
69. Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?
He was afraid of the net.
70. Did you hear that camping is now a sport?
It’s in tents!
71. What’s the difference between Kobe Bryant and time?
Time actually passes.
72. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
They always make the jump shots.
73. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
74. What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?
Tee!
75. What do you call a football player with long legs who builds houses?
A car-punter.
76. What do football players wear for Halloween?
Face masks.
77. What kind of tea do football players drink?
Penaltea.
78. Why do football players like smart women?
Opposites attract.
79. What do you get when you cross a running back and the Invisible Man?
Scoring like no one has ever seen.
80. Why couldn’t the all-star football player listen to any music?
He broke all the records.
Even More Funny Sports Jokes and Puns
The universal appeal of sports is evident in the diverse representation of teams and the passionate fan bases that span the globe. These sports jokes are plenty of fun for sharing around with fellow fans.
81. What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute then sits down and starts crying the next?
A football coach.
82. How do you spot a Tennessee fan at a wedding?
Look for the guy in the orange t-shirt.
83. How are scrambled eggs and football teams the same?
They’ve both been beaten.
84. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?
They needed a little team spirit.
85. Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
The one with the biggest head.
86. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at mid-field?
He was trying to make ends meet.
87. Where do football players go when they need new uniforms?
New Jersey.
88. What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
89. Why couldn’t the defensive end pass any of his tests?
He was a tackling dummy.
90. What do you get when you cross a quarterback with a carpet?
A throw rug.
91. How did America steal the name for football?
They grabbed it and ran.
92. How do football players deal with their problems?
They tackle them head on.
93. What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?
They both do hat tricks.
94 Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick?
Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs.
95. Why are hockey rinks rounded?
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
96. Why do hipsters love field hockey?
Because it’s ice hockey before it gets cool.
97. What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?
The Zam-bony.
98. Hockey players are known for their summer teeth.
Summer here, summer there.
99. Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?
The tooth fairy.
100. Why do the Germans always get beat by the Canadians in hockey?
Canadians bring the “eh” game, while Germans bring their wurst.
101. What do you give a hockey player when he demands to be paid?
A check.
102. Hockey players are like goldfish.
Just tap on the glass to get their attention.
103. My friend and I visited Canada together for the first time.
We went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out.
104. Why are hockey players so good at making friends?
They’re quick to break the ice.
105. What’s the difference between hockey and wrestling?
In hockey, the fights are real.
106. How do hockey players kiss?
They pucker up.
107. How many teeth does a hockey player have?
Don’t you mean tooth?
108. What’s the difference between basketball players and soccer players?
Basketball players get actual injuries.
109. Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
The defense cleared it.
110. Soccer is surprisingly relevant to my life.
Just consider the lack of goals.
111. Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket instead.
112. What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?
COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!
113. What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
114. What happens when a dinosaur gets a goal?
A dino-score.
115. What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A referee.
116. What’s a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
Ghoul keeper.
117. Which soccer player keeps the field nice and tidy?
The sweeper.
118. Why are soccer players excellent at math?
They know how to use their heads.
We hope that you have enjoyed these sports jokes. Check out more funnies with these swimming jokes, tennis jokes and gymnastics jokes too!