Science jokes are hilarious. You will often find them told in school and classroom settings but they can also be fun for scientists or at a physics conference.
Whether your favorite field of science is physics, chemistry or biology, or something more advanced like nuclear chemistry that only scientists get, we think that you will still get a kick out of these hilarious science jokes that are actually funny.
You will be delighted with these strange mix of some of the best science jokes and puns. Maybe you need something to lighten up the mood. Crack out one of these science jokes and you will have the audience at your disposal.
Let’s dive into these amazing science jokes.
Amazing and Funny Science Jokes That Will Have You Crackin’ Up with Laughter
1. What did the biologist wear to impress his date?
Designer genes.
2. What type of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na.
3. How does a scientist freshen his breath?
With experi-mints!
4. What fruit contains barium and double sodium?
BaNaNa.
5. What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?
Sorry, my fault.
6. What kinds of books do astronomers usually like to read?
Comet books.
7. What do you with sick scientists?
Helium.
8. Why is electricity the perfect student?
It conducts itself well.
9. What do you do with dead scientists?
Barium.
10. How do geologists ask each other out?
They say, “Are you a carbon sample? Because I’d love to date you.”
11. Why did the scientist hang up periodic table posters everywhere?
Because it made him feel that he was in his element.
12. How do you know that Saturn has been married multiple times?
Because she has a lot of rings!
13. What did the stamen say to the pistil?
I like your style!
14. What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
Aaaaargon.
15. Did you hear that Einstein developed a theory about space?
And it was about time too.
16. Why is combining a proton and an electron to make a neutron such a popular activity amongst scientists?
Because it is free of charge.
17. What does a Geneticist keep in the garden?
Ge-Gnome-ics!
18. What is rule number one in a science lab?
Never lick the spoon.
19. Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s belt?
Because it is a big waist of space.
20. What is a physicist’s favourite food?
Fission chips.
21. What do you call an accountant for the biology department?
A buy-ologist.
22. What did the proton say to the pessimistic electron?
I’m tired of your negativity.
23. A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
24. Did you hear about the girl who got cooled to absolute zero?
She’s 0K now.
25. Why was the science teacher hesitant to give a lecture on mitosis?
Because it is a divisive issue.
More Funny Science Jokes to Generate Laughter
26. What type of tree can you hold in your hand?
A palm tree.
27. Do you want to hear a joke about Microbiology?
I think I better not tell it in case it goes viral.
28. Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
29. Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
Because they had no chemistry.
30. There was once a science teacher who was known for being very strict. He would enter into class with a frown on his face and the classroom full of students would not dare to make a sound out of fear. This happened at every lesson, every day and every week throughout the semester. However, what was odd was that the science teacher’s students started to notice that on the last day of each month, the science teacher would always be in a good mood. He would come in whistling a happy tune with a huge grin on his face. Furthermore, he would greet each of the students by name and start off the class with a science joke. This behavior deeply puzzled the students who were not used to the science teacher being so cheery. One day, one of the students could not longer take it anymore. He was so troubled by the science teacher’s behavior that he decided to pluck up the courage to ask the science teacher about why acted this way. So at the next lesson, he bravely raised his hand and asked, “Sir, you have taught use to use scientific observation when interacting with the world. I have observed that you seems to tell a science joke at the end of each month. Would you be able to tell us why?” The science teacher looked back crossly at the student and replied, “Is it not obvious? I tell science jokes PERIODICALLY.”
31. What did one cell tell his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?
Ouch! That’s mitosis.
32. Why didn’t the sun go to graduate school?
Because it already had a million degrees.
33. What type of books are the hardest to get through?
Friction books.
34. What did one ion say to another?
I’ve got my ion you.
35. How much room does fungi need in order to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
36. What did the tree wear to his friend’s pool party?
Swimming trunks.
37. What do you call a photo that a biologist takes of himself?
A cell-fie.
38. What kind of hair does the ocean have?
Wavy hair.
39. A photon checks into a hotel. When asked if they need help with their bags, it responds, “No, I’m travelling light”.
40. What can run but never walk?
Water.
41. How do astronomers organize a successful party?
They planet.
42. What do rich clouds do?
Make it rain!
43. What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A mean-o-acid.
44. Two hydrogen atoms were walking down the street. The first says to the second, “I think I’ve lost an electron”. The second atom askss, “you sure?” First one replies, “yeah, I’m positive”.
45. What did the blood cell say when it’s trying to be optimistic?
B Positive.
46. A science lecturer and a student walk into a bar. The scientist says to the barman: “Can I have a glass of H20?” The barman hands over the drink and the lecturer walks away. Wanting to fit in, the student says to the barman: “I’ll have a glass of H20 too.” He died.
47. Did you know that there are 10 sorts of people in the world?
Those that understand binary numbers and those that don’t.
48. What type of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retrievers.
49. What sound does a subatomic duck make?
Quark, quark.
50. Why did the hipster chemist get burned?
He touched the beaker before it was cool.
Even More Hilarious Science Jokes that Will Knock Your Socks Off
51. An electron and a proton are drinking in a bar.
Proton said, “Your round.”
Electron replied, “Are you sure?”
Proton answered, “I’m positive.”
52. Why do researchers in the science lab look forward to Fridays?
Because they can wear their genes to work.
53. Did you hear about the scientist that built himself a new house but decided not install a doorbell on the front door?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize.
54. What is a tornado’s favorite party game to play?
Twister.
55. What did the thermometer tell the graduated cylinder?
You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.
56. Did you hear about the scientist who was reading a book about anti-gravity?
He could not put it down.
57. A photon walks into a hotel and asks for a room, front desk attendant says, “Any luggage?” The photon replies, “Me? Nah, I’m travelling light”
58. A neutron walks into a bar, asks the man ar the counter for a beer. Neutron asks how much is it and the man replies, for you, no charge!
59. Where did the chemist have his lunch?
On the periodic table.
60. What is an organic chemist’s favorite pasta dish?
Carbonara…
61. What did the science book say to the math book?
You have got problems.
62. Know any good science jokes?
NaBrO.
63. I asked a man on the street if he wanted to hear a joke about potassium.
He said, “K?”.
64. Did you hear about the many who fell ill after he was told to “eat light”?
He became a black hole.
65. What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
A ferrous wheel.
66. What does Earth say to make fun of the other planets?
“You guys have no life.”
67. What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down its genes.
68. What do phlebotomists say before they take your blood?
Please B positive!
69. Why is the pH of YouTube very stable?
Because it constantly buffers.
70. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite.
71. Did you hear about the two blood cells that fell in love?
Sadly, it was all in vein.
72. Why did the fog date the cloud?
Because she was so down to earth.
73. Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?
He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.
74. Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting while Newton and Pascal run and hide. Pascal hides behind a curtain. Newton stops and draws a 1-metre by 1-metre square on the ground and stands in the middle. Einstein finishes counting, uncovers his eyes and turns around, “Ha! Found you, Newton!” Newton calmly replies, “Nope, you found Pascal!”
75. A group of protesters form outside a science lab and start chanting… “What do we want? Time Travel! When do we want it? It’s irrelevant!”
Get Laughing with the Crazy Science Jokes and Puns
76. Why is it bad to trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
77. What did the man say when he heard that Magnesium and Oxygen had started dating?
“OMG!”
78. What do protons and life coaches have in common?
They both know how to stay positive.
79. Did you know that light travels faster than sound?
That is why people may appear bright until you hear them speak.
80. Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
Because a burger is in its ground state.
81. Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
It’s a little meteor.
82. How can you know a tree is a dogwood tree?
By its bark!
83. What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife?
I lava you.
84. What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection?
Is there antibody out there?
85. What did the physicist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs?
Sorry for your sulfering.
86. What did the scientist do when he was feeling a little down today?
He rubbed a balloon on his hair. This way, electrons were transferred to the balloon, thereby making him more positive.
87. What do you call an educated tube?
A graduated cylinder.
88. Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
To get to the other side.
89. What do you call a compound that is made up of sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium?
Batman!
90. Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding. The officer asks Heisenberg, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!” The confused officer says, “You were going 200 kilometres an hour!” Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!” The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk. “A cat,” Schrödinger replies. The officer opens the trunk and yells, “Hey! This cat is dead.” Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well, he is now!”
91. Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
92. Somebody asked me recently if there were any good chemistry puns left.
I said, “ionestly don’t know.”
93. What is the least interesting chemical element?
Bohrium.
94. How do you know that atoms are Catholic?
They have mass.
95. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
96. Why are chemists excellent for solving problems?
Because they have all the solutions.
97. What do you call a FISH with no eyes?
FSH.
98. What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade?
Bio-degraded.
99. Why do scientists tell such bad jokes
Because all the good ones argon.
100. What do you do when your science jokes don’t get a laugh?
Keep trying until you get a reaction.
We hope that you’ve enjoyed these funny science jokes. We think that you will also enjoy these funny biology jokes, hilarious shoe jokes, astronaut jokes and carpenter jokes as well.