Having a bad day doing sales? Well, these funny sales jokes are sure to brighten up your day. You may not know it but being able to have a laugh is a great way to relieve stress and lighten up.

The right sales joke may also help to break the ice with customers or with your own team. We’ve got some funny sales jokes that anyone in business will be able to relate to. Perhaps it may seem like almost too familiar situations that you find yourself in.

Here are some of the best sales jokes for different occasions.

Funny Sales Jokes That Salespersons Will Be Able Relate to Too Well

1. Why are glue sales people so predictable?
Because they always stick to what is known.

2. Sales manager: I’ve been trying to call you all day long. What happened? Was it on silent?
Sales person: Too bad. If you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.

3. Sales manager: This computer will cut your workload by 50%
Sales person: That’s great! I’ll take two of them.

4. What is it called when a shoe salesman claims that a faux leather shoe is made from alligator hide?
A load of croc.

5. What does a sales person call a prospect who asks him to call back six months later?
A prospect.

6. A sales manager was addressing an underperforming sales team at the start of a new month. He says, “We are going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month’s contest.”

7. Why was the Velcro salesman so loyal to his company?
Because he wanted to stick to his job.

8. A young salesperson peeped into the office of a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door – where after some hesitation, he started to back away again.

The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.”You’re a salesperson aren’t you? What are you selling?””Sir … uh … yes … I’m a salesman. I’m sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I’m sure you don’t want any. Sorry to have wasted your time.

Feeling sorry for the young sales man, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: “You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of — “”But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!”

More Funny Sales Jokes

9. Why did the amplifier salesman get fired from his job?
Because he wasn’t making enough volume.

10. Two sales people walk into a diner in the countryside. They have decided to stop there for lunch, so without ordering anything they sit down, take out sandwiches from their bags and begin to eat them. The waiter sees this and says to them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” So the salespeople look at each other, shrug, and swap sandwiches.

11. What is it called when a salesperson works 40 hours a week?
A part-time job.

12. The sales manager walked up to the salesman who was sleeping at his desk. He asked him, “Why aren’t you working?” The salesman replied, “Because I did not see you coming.”

13. How can you tell when a cashier is not cut out for the job?
When he or she is slow to register.

14. Sales manager: Did you get any orders today?
Salesman: Yes, I got two!
Sales manager: Congratulations! What were they?
Salesman: ‘Get out!’ and ‘Stay out!’

15. Did you hear about the salesman who became a superstar selling freezers?
It was mostly done through cold calls.

16. How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?
Nice to meet you. I’m better than you.

17. A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable umbrellas in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the umbrella through all sorts of torture and stress. He would open and close the umbrella

Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the umbrella completely in half, and it gave out a loud crack and snapped. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the “unbreakable” umbrella  for everyone to see and said, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable umbrella looks like on the inside.”

18. What did the shoe salesman dance?
Because he had a lot of sole.

19. Did you hear the joke about the unemployed salesman?
It still needs some work.

20. Why were the customers skeptical even though the shop promised them a free abacus with every purchase?
Because they couldn’t count on it.

21. A new sales manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.” Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong – the usual stuff – and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope.

The message inside says “Blame your predecessor!” He does this and gets off the hook.

About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope.

The message read, “Reorganize!” This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.

Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says “Prepare three envelopes”.

Take a Break with these Salesperson Jokes

22. What does a real estate salesperson have to know to be good at his job?
Lots.

23. A salesman approached a potential client and asked: ‘Would you like to buy a pocket calculator?’ ‘No thanks,’ the man replied. “I already know how many pockets I have.”

24. What salesperson has the slickest line?
A grease salesperson.

25. How many salespeople does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. You don’t need a new lightbulb; you need to upgrade your socket to the newest version.

26. Salesperson: Can I arrange an appointment with you today?
Man: No, no, no! I cannot see you today!:
Salesperson: You are in luck because I’m selling eye glasses.

27. Two salespeople were having coffee together and one was telling the other: ‘We’ve got a terrific sales competition going at our place. The rep who writes the biggest percentage over target for the quarter gets a holiday for two in the south of France with all expenses paid. The one who’s second highest gets a tailor-made suit, and the rep who’s third gets a gift certificate.’ The other rep looked gloomily at his coffee for a moment, and says: ‘We’re having a sales competition at our place too. The rep that wins it keeps his job.’

28. Why did the marketing team hire a comedian?
To improve their sales pitch.

29. Why did the salesman bring a ladder to work?
To reach the sales quota!

If you enjoyed these jokes, you may also enjoy these marketing jokes, librarian jokes, computer jokes, boss jokes, money jokes or this collection of business jokes.

Or you may also enjoy this story on how to start a sales conversation.