You will often find sports fans who always have a referee joke ready. It seems that no one ever is quite happy enough with the referees and the work that they do. That is probably why you find many different jokes where referees at the butt of the punchline.
Referees are responsible for enforcing the rules of the game, ensuring fair play, and maintaining order on the field or court. However, it is always hard to please everyone, especially when one side has to lose.
So lighten up and relax with these funny referee jokes and remember to take them with a large fistful of salt!
Funny Referee Jokes
1. Why should you never trust a tanned referee?
Because he’s always unfair
2.Did you hear about the referee who picked up his phone during a match?
14 Missed Calls.
3. Why was the chicken referee banned from the arena?
For his fowl language.
4. Having one child makes you a parent.
Having two makes you a referee.
5. I have 2 eyes and can’t see, but millions of eyes are on me. What am I?
A Referee
6. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee was blowing fowls
7. Why did the referee bring a pencil to the game?
To draw the line!
8. God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell. “I know for a fact we are gonna win,” said God. “We have all the best players up here…Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on.”
“I wouldn’t count on that, God,” said Satan. “You see, down here, *we* have all the referees.”
9. Did you hear about the NHL official that was arrested as a serial killer?
His name was Referee Dahmer.
10. How do you know if a referee loves gardening?
Every game, they’re planting flags!
11. A coach known for disagreeing with the referee’s decisions approached the referee after a match and said: “That was a great match!” “Oh, really?” the referee replied with a smile, clearly flattered.
The coach said, “Yes! I wish you had seen it!”
12. Why do referees make poor carpenters?
Because they can’t measure up to the task!
13. How do referees write their reports?
With a pen-alty!
14. What makes a referee’s garden so special?
It’s full of penalty shoots.
More Referee Jokes That Will Make The Call
Becoming a referee often requires rigorous training, certification, and passing exams. It is much easier to become a joker with these funny referee jokes!
15. A terrible call has been made and six players started kicking and punching the Referee. A spectator said to the other Referee, ‘Aren’t you going to help?’
The other referee replied ‘No, six should be enough.
16. What’s a referee’s favorite snack?
Yellow cardamom biscuits.
17. How do referees stay cool?
By standing near the fans.
18. Why was the basketball referee asked to leave the party?
He kept blowing his whistle.
19. Footballer to referee: Would you send me off if I said you were a useless cheat? Referee: Yes. Footballer: But you couldn’t send me off for thinking it? Referee: No.
Footballer: Right then, I think you’re a useless cheat.
20. A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “About time you got here,” the bartender comments. “You missed all the excitement.” “What happened?” the guy asks. “We had a NFL referee in here. He had too much to drink and was running around blowing his whistle at everyone.
I finally had to warn him about using it inside here and gave him one last chance,” the bartender says. “Unfortunately he blew it.”
21. I was the referee in a Russian Roulette tournament.
I did an excellent job, none of the losers complained.
22. The referee had gone to see his doctor because he was getting breathless towards the end of games. The doctor examined him thoroughly and pronounced: “You’re generally fit but, to put it simply, you’re too fat”. “What do you mean, ‘I’m too fat’. I’d like to have a second opinion”.
“OK. You’re a lousy referee as well.
23. “I just don’t understand it,” the referee complained to his assessor. “One match I do very well, then the next match I’m terrible. And that’s what you saw today.”
“Well,” said the assessor helpfully, “maybe you should just do every other game”.
24. What do you call a referee who goes into the club bar after a controversial game?
A nutter.
25. I went to an NBA game and there was a female referee.
She only made 75% of the calls that the male referees made.
26. Did you hear about the first female NFL referee?
She threw a flag for something that happened last season.
27. What do you call an English man at a world cup final?
A referee.
28. Was playing soccer last week and the referee said I could only take the free kick if the ball was stationery.
So I swapped it for a pencil.
29. Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?
He was a whistleblower.
30. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.
Even More Referee Jokes to Laugh At
Referee jokes will have you laughing non-stop, or even allowing you to feel better after your favorite team has lost the game.
31. What happens to football players who go blind?
They become referees
32. The attacking no 8 was barely touched in the penalty box but dramatically flew head-over-heals. The referee whistled and strode purposefully towards the prostrate player already loudly claiming a penalty. “Now number 8, what do you call that?”
Opposition goalkeeper, helpfully: “Double back somersault with pike?”
33. A football fan appears in court for battery. The judge says to the fan: So you are very sure you only threw tomatoes at the referee? The fan: yes, your honour. I’m very sure. The Judge: Then how do you explain the deep cuts and bruises on the referees face? (The judge points at the refs battered face.)
The fan: Ya… they were canned tomatoes.
34. A seven-year-old boy from London was at the center of a courtroom drama when he challenged a court ruling over whom should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
35. The football club dance was in full swing when three strangers arrived. They had no tickets but explained to the doorman that they were friends of the referee.
He refused to let them in: “No referee I’ve ever known has three friends”.
36. Wife: “Refereeing, Football, Refereeing, Football. You never think of anything else. If you said one weekend you were going to stay at home and help me in the house, I’d drop dead from shock.”
Referee husband: “Now you’re trying to tempt me.”
37.“What’s the difference between a referee and a battery?
“The battery has a positive side”.
38. At the primary school sports, parents were encouraged to take part in the special 50 yd dash. The referee was pressed by his wife into entering ‘for the sake of the children’. As he walked away afterwards, he was approached by the head teacher. “Excuse me, sir. Are you by any chance a football referee?” “As it happens I am. But how did you know?”
“Well, you were the only parent who ran the whole race backwards with his arm up in the air.”
39. Referee: “Number 7. I’m going to send you off.” Player: “What for ref?”
Referee: “For the rest of the match of course!”
If you have enjoyed these referee jokes, we think that you may also enjoy these soccer jokes, basketball jokes, bass player jokes and these footballer jokes.