Police are here to serve and protect but you will not want them protect you from these funny police jokes. These arresting jokes are sure to stop you in your tracks and have laughing away.
These police jokes are all in good humor and a chance to lighten the mood. Just be sure not to run into the wrong side of the law and try to use them to get out of jail. Instead, we think that you will certainly enjoy these police jokes and may even be able to share them around just as cops might share a box of donuts.
Get ready for some lawfully funny police jokes.
Funny Police Jokes
1. Did you hear that someone has been stealing the wheels of police cars around town?
The police are working tirelessly to catch the thief.
2. What does a police officer and a DJ in a club have in common?
They both tell drunk people to put their hands up!
3. Did you hear that someone broke into the police station last night and stole all the toilets?
The police have nothing to go on.
4. A drunk wakes up in jail. He ask the police officer, “What am I in here for?” The officer replies, “For drinking.” The man replies, “Great! When do we start?”
5. Why did the police arrest the ghost?
Because they could see right through him.
6. Did you hear about the lady police officer who plays guitar?
She-riff.
7. Why happened to the man who was arrested for telling bad jokes?
He was put into punitentiary.
8. Police Officer: “Why did you park here?”
Man: “The sign says, ‘Fine for parking.’”
9. Why did the police chief deploy a large force to the beach?
Because he was expecting a crime wave.
10. What happened to the police officer who ate too many donuts?
His eyes glazed over.
11. Did you hear about the wig shop that got broken into?
The police are combing the area.
12. Police Officer: “I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.”
Man: “Wait I can explain everything.”
13. What did the police officer say to the snowman?
Freeze!
14. What type of police get rid of flies?
The SWAT team.
15. What sound does a Nintendo police car make?
Wii-U Wii-U Wii-U.
16. Why did the police woman lock up her boyfriend?
Because he stole her heart.
17. What did the picture say when it was arrested by the police?
“I was framed!”
More Hilarious Police Jokes
Police do such important work. They help to protect our communities and keep things in good order whenever help is needed. That is why they deserve to take a break once in a while and simply enjoy a light hearted laugh.
18. Why did the police arrest the Energizer bunny?
He was charged with battery.
19. A police officer is driving down the highway when he looks over and spots a granny knitting whilst balancing the steering wheel with her knees. He comes alongside the granny, and shouts “Pull over!” The granny shouts back, “No, it’s a scarf”
20. Why did the coffee call the police?
It was mugged.
21. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police. Open up!
22. Why did the police officer give the cat a ticket?
Because it littered.
23. What do you call a police officer who doesn’t get out of bed?
An under cover officer.
24. Police Officer: “How high are you?”
Driver: “No, Officer, it’s ‘Hi, how are you?’”
25. Why did the celery get arrest?
For stalking.
26. Who works together with the grammar police?
Corrections officers.
27. Why did the police show up at the baseball game?
Because they heard that someone was stealing bases.
28. What happened to the man the police arrested for stealing a lamp?
He got a light sentence.
29. What type of insects join the force?
Po-lice.
30. Judge: “I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again.”
Criminal: “That’s what I kept telling the police officer, but he wouldn’t listen.”
31. Why is a traffic police officer the strongest man in the world?
Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand.
32. Why did the police arrest the duvet?
For covering up something.
33. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
Because they suspected fowl play.
Even More Police Jokes
Police jokes and puns are a great way to remember the important role that police and law enforcement officers play.
34. Why do police officers make great volleyball players?
Because they know how to serve and protect.
35. Police Officer: “You’re driving on the wrong side of the road.”
Driver: “Sorry, I’m English.”
Police officer: “Oii! It’s the rong soid of the roade ye was droivin down, innit?”
36. Why did the police raid the pet shop?
Because they were looking for the cat burglar.
37. Why did the police officer arrest the fish and chips?
For a-salt and battery!
38. What happened to the guy who was caught stealing batteries?
He was charged!
39. What happened to the guy who was caught stealing fireworks?
He was let off!
40. How did the hacker escape from the police?
He ransomeware.
41. Man: “Why are you crying as you are writing me a ticket?”
Police officer: “It’s a moving violation.”
42. Why was police interrogator always invited to barbeques?
Because he was an expert at grilling.
43. What did the police officer say to his tummy?
“You’re under a vest!”
44. A police officer pulled over a spanish photon. The police officer asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
The photon replied, “C.”
45. A police officer sees a woman standing in the middle of the street. He approaches her and asks, “Are you OK?” The woman replies, “Yes, but how do I get to the hospital?” The officer replies, “Just keep standing there.”
46. Why did the police officer give the ghost a ticket?
It didn’t have a haunting license.
47. Police Officer: ” I’m writing you a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane.”
Man: “You’re going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk.”
48. Tourist: “Are you a police officer?”
Officer: “No, I am an undercover detective.”
Tourist: “So, why are you in uniform?”
Officer: “Today is my day off.”
49. Why was the police officer watching a herd of cows?
It was a steak-out.
50. How do police officers greet each other?
Policed to meet you!
We hope that you’ve enjoyed these funny police jokes. If you have, we think that you will also appreciate these firefighter jokes, pirate jokes or these accountant jokes.