Giraffe jokes need not be long to be funny. In fact, few things can compare to the length of a giraffe’s neck. And did you know that despite their long necks, giraffes have only seven neck vertebrae, the same number as humans. Each vertebra can be over 10 inches long.
We have more than funny giraffe jokes that will keep you laughing away. So let’s get into these amazing giraffe jokes and puns.
Funny Giraffe Jokes that You Can Stretch Out On
1. I was going to make a giraffe joke
But it’s too long
2.Did you hear about the Giraffe and Ostrich race?
It was neck and neck.
3. Why don’t giraffes like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
4. What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
5. Once you’ve seen one lion eat a giraffe…
You’ve seen a maul!
6. Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell!
7. What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with sore feet
8. What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A twelve-foot toothbrush
9. Why didn’t they invite the giraffe to the party?
He was a pain in the neck!
10. What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam.
11. Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe?
Because a little goes a long way
12. What’s the silliest name you can give a giraffe?
Stumpy.
13. A zebra and a giraffe have a kid and named him Al. Al is really good at maths. What species is he?
An Al-ge-bra
14. What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
15. A giraffe walks into a bar
Giraffes aren’t good at playing limbo
16. Why did the giraffe sign up for monk training?
He felt a higher calling.
17. What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your high-ness
18. Where do you put Giraffes that don’t feel good?
Giraffe-Sick Park
19. What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
20. Some Giraffes can grow up to 18 feet.
But most only have 4
21. Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
22. What do you call a giraffe with a jet stuck in its throat?
A plane in the neck.
More Giraffe Jokes to Laugh At
Did you know that a giraffe’s heart can weigh up to 25 pounds and is about 2 feet long. It has to generate double the blood pressure of most other mammals to pump blood up to their brains. These giraffe jokes have plenty of heart to them too!
23. What school of magic does a Giraffe practice?
Neckromancy
24. What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a lawyer?
Long-arm of the Law
25. What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y
26. Why do giraffes make bad bosses?
Because they can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees
27. What do you call an animal that turns into a boat?
A GIRRAFT
28. Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
To connect its head and body together.
29. Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
30. What do giraffes have that no one else has?
Baby giraffes!
31. How do you write a report on a giraffe?
First, you get a really tall ladder …
32. Why was the giraffe late?
Because he got caught in a giraffic jam!
33. What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A longshot.
34. Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffes?
Because it is a tall order.
35. What do you call a giraffe driving a car?
A danger to society
36. Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
It’s a long one.
37.Why did the giraffe get bad grades?
He had his head in the clouds.
38. What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines
39. When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
When there are two of them!
40. What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
41. A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “you want a longneck?”
The giraffe says “you mean I have a choice?”
42.What do you call a mural of a giraffe in the street?
Giraffiti
43.Why are giraffes tongues so long?
So they can clean their ears.
44. Why did the giraffe leave her boyfriend?
He was a Cheetah!
Even More Funny Giraffe Jokes and Puns
Giraffes have long, prehensile tongues that can reach up to 20 inches. Their tongues are dark blue. If that does not make them funny, then these jokes about giraffes will!
45. Why don’t giraffes like to go to the playground?
Because the monkeys use them for slides.
46. Why do giraffes sing in the rain?
Because they don’t fit in the shower.
47. What’s green and hangs from tall trees?
Giraffe boogers.
48. Why did none of the giraffe’s friends ever laugh when she told a joke?
It always went over their heads.
49. Why was the giraffe so well respected at the zoo?
Because everybody looked up to him.
50. Knock knock.
Who’s there. Giraffe. Giraffe who? Giraffe anything to eat? I’m starving!
51. I respect giraffe’s…
They’re an animal I can look up to.
52. A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says “you want a longneck?” The giraffe says “you mean I have a choice?”
53. Did you know Ronnie Pickering invented the giraffe?
He got into an argument with a horse and uppercutted it
54. A giraffe walks into a bar and says…
The highballs are on me.
55. Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe?
A little goes a long way
56. Did you hear about the guy who made giraffe and elephant jam?
He called it Wildlife Preserve.
57.Did you know that a giraffes neck is strong enough to support the weight of a human climbing on it?
Anyway, I got banned from my local zoo today
58. I read about a heartwarming story of several doctors performing overnight surgery on a giraffe’s knee.
It was a joint operation.
59. A lion and a giraffe are meeting at the zoo
Lion: “You are late! We said to meet at sunset!” Giraffe: “I can still see the sun you.”
60. You are riding a Giraffe at full speed, there is a lion right behind you and a horse in front of you, what do you do?
Get off the merry-go-round.
61. Why didn’t the audience laugh at the giraffe’ s joke?
It went over their heads
62. A boy walks into a party with his pet giraffe. He gets himself and his giraffe juice boxes, but after finishing his drink the giraffe drops dead on the floor.
The boy gets up to leave but a girl says to him, “Hey! You can’t leave that lying there!” The boy turns to her and says, “That’s not a lion, that’s a giraffe!”
63. A 15-foot giraffe walks into a bar, and asks the bartender what the longest straw they have is. The bartender responds that their longest straw is around 12 inches, since that’s the size of most of their tall glasses. The giraffe says “Perfect! One of those, please!” And the bartender gives him the straw, then asks him if he wants a glass with that, or maybe a drink. The giraffe responds that he doesn’t. The bartender asks him what he’s doing with the straw then, and the giraffe responds, “Well, I’m going swimming, and the water’s sixteen feet deep.”
We are sure that you have enjoyed these funny giraffe jokes and puns. We think that you will also enjoy these elephant jokes, SpongeBob jokes, squirrel jokes, snake jokes and weather jokes too!