We all love our pets and funny pet jokes can be a great way to also share a laugh together with fellow pet owners. Pets come in allow shapes and sizes. They range from pet dogs and cats to other animals such as fish and rabbits. Some of the more usual pets may include iguanas and even snakes.
Whatever the type of pet that you may own, you will surely love and care for these animals. Pets bring plenty of joy to their owners. Similarly, these funny pet jokes will bring about a lot of fun and laughter too!
Pet Jokes That You Can Give Yourself A Pat On The Back For
Pet Dog Jokes
1. Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A Chi-ha-ha!
2.What’s a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes!
3. What kinds of stores do dogs love the most?
Re-tail stores!
4. What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni pizza!
5. Which dog breed chases anything that’s red?
A bull dog!
6. What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?
That’s ruffffffff!!
7. What’s a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trombone!
8. What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?
“That hit the spots!”
9. What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?
A flea market!
10. What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?
A CAT-tastrophy!
11. What do you call a dog that’s been out in the cold?
A pupsicle!
12. What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?
Take the words right out of his mouth!
13. Which breed of dog is the quietest?
A hush puppy!
14. Which dog breed just LOVES bubble baths?
A shampoodle!
15. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador
16. Why is a tree like a big dog?
They both have a lot of bark!
17. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
18. Who is the favorite rapper of every dog?
Snoop Dogg!
19. Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?
A New Yorkie!
20. Why is a tree like a big dog?
They both have a lot of bark!
21. What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodledoo!
22. What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel!
23. What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?
A golden receiver!
24. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
25. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
26. What did one flea say to the other?
Should we walk or take a dog?
27. Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
Because you might step in a poodle!
28. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots!
29. What did one flea say to the other?
“Should we walk or take a dog?”
30. What did the dog say to the flea?
Quit bugging me!
31. What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast food?
Pooched eggs!
32. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots!
33. Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs!
34. Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in squares!
35. What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower!
36. What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?
A greyhound buzz!
37.Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in squares!
38. Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?
Because “Frost” bites!
39. In what month do dogs bark the least?
February; it’s the shortest month!
40. What did the dog say to the flea?
“Stop bugging me!”
41. What kinds of stores do dogs love?
Re-tail stores!
42.What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog!
43.Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote?
Because they always hit the paws button!
44. How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!
45. Why was the dog sweating so much?
She was a hot dog!
46. What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food?
Bone appetit!
47. What do you call a great dog detective?
Sherlock Bones!
48. How do fleas travel from place to place?
By itch-hiking!
49. Which dog breed does Dracula love the most?
Blood hounds!
Pet Cat Jokes
Do you have a pet cat? Cats can be one of the easiest pets to care for. These pet jokes about cats will have you laughing away and even trying to get your pet cat to share a laugh as well.
50. What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
51. Two kittens got into a big argument.
It was a total cat-astrophe.
52. What did one cat say to the other?
How do you like meow?
53. What do cats wear to bed?
Paw-jamas.
54. Did you hear about the angry cat?
It got hot under the collar.
55. Did you hear about the cat that almost fell off a cliff?
It lived to tell the tail.
56. What do cat artists usually paint?
Self paw-traits.
57.What kind of cars do cats prefer to drive?
Fur-arris.
58. What’s a kitten’s favorite game?
Cat and mouse.
59. Why did the cat bring its watch to the bank?
It wanted to save time.
60. Did you hear about the cat that went to the doctor?
It wasn’t feline well.
61. What do cats put in their houses?
Fur-niture.
62. Where do you find a cat with no legs?
Right where you left him.
63. Did you hear about the cat that burned dinner?
It had to start over from scratch.
64.. Why did the cop arrest the cat?
It got caught littering.
65. What kind of cats teach college classes?
Purr-fessors.
66. What do cats prefer to eat when they go out to dinner?
Paw-sta.
67. Why was the kitten unpopular at school?
It had a bad cat-titude.
68. Did you hear about the cat that made a mistake?
It was a total faux paw.
69. What kind of felines can bowl?
Alley cats.
70. How do mice floss their teeth?
With string cheese.
71. What’s the best way to catch a catfish?
Have someone throw it to you.
72. What do you call a cat with eight legs?
An octo-puss.
Fish Jokes
Some people love to keep and care for fish. Pet fish are great to look at as they swim around in a tank. Here are some fish jokes that will also help to brighten up the day!
73. What kind of fish only comes out at night?
A starfish.
74. What do you call a fish with two legs?
A two-knee fish.
75. How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish?
Clam-ouflage!
76. What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught.
77. Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales.
78. A little fish walks into a bar. The bartender asks the fish “What can I get you?”
The little fish replies (gasping) “Water! I need water!”
79. Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut?
The bobber shop.
80. How do you talk to a fish?
You drop it a line.
81. Two fish swam into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says “Dam!”
82. There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant.
One fish got battered!
83. Where does a fish keep its money?
A riverbank.
84. What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
A big-mouthed bass.
85. What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich?
A jellyfish.
86. Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.
87. What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something with a good tune-a!
88. How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance.
89. What did the shark say after eating a clownfish?
That tasted a little bit funny!
90. What do whales have for dinner?
They eat fish and ships.
91. What does every fisherman want?
A gillfriend.
92. Why are fish cleverer than people?
Ever see a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?
93. Two parrots are sitting on a perch.
One bird asks the other one “Does something smell a little fishy to you?”
94 Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says…
“How do you drive this thing?”
95. What do you call a fish with lots of money?
A goldfish.
96. Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean?
He thought he saw a catfish.
97. What type of music should you listen to whilst fishing?
Something catchy.
98. Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
99. What’s the fastest fish in the lake?
A motor-Pike.
100. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish!
Pet Rabbit Jokes
If you have a funny bunny at home, these pet jokes about rabbits are sure to make you very hoppy! Have a laugh and relax with these great pet rabbit jokes.
101. What do you get when you cross a frog and a bunny?
A ribbit!
102. What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
“It’s been nice gnawing you.”
103. Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
On bunnymoon!
104. Why was the rabbit so upset?
She was having a bad hare day!
105. What do you call a dumb bunny?
A hare brain!
106. What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor?
Rabbit Hood.
107. Where do rabbits work?
At IHOP restaurants.
108. What do you call a rabbit comedian?
A funny bunny!
109. What do rabbits sing at birthday parties?
Hoppy birthday to you!
110. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline!
111. How can you tell which are the oldest rabbits?
Just look for the gray hares!
112. What kind of book does a rabbit like to read?
One with a hoppy ending!
113. What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style?
Hip-hop!
If you have enjoyed these pet jokes, we think that you will also enjoy these other animal jokes such as these owl jokes that are a hoot or these nature jokes, cow jokes or vet jokes.