Florist spend their lives designing, creating and selling beautiful flowers to others. They are also specialists at floral arrangements. For every florist who needs to take a break, we have some of the funniest florist jokes to brighten up the day.
Many florists combine practical skills with customer service to create flower arrangements that are both beautiful and meaningful. These florist jokes also do likewise with a dose of humor to create laughter for all.
Let’s sprout up some funny florist jokes.
Florist Jokes That Will Simply Bloom Laughter
1. Did you hear about the man who was fired from his job at the florist?
He was taking too many leaves.
2. Angelina Jolie walks into a florists.’I’d like to buy some flowers’, she says.
‘Orchids?’ says the florist.
‘No, just flowers today’.
3. What does a florist say when she visits someone in the hospital?
“Are you feeling bouquet?”
4. Did you hear about the florist that became mayor of the city?
He rose to the occasion.
5. Where did Robin Hood go to buy flowers for Maid Marion?
Sherwood Florist.
6. Why do florists always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
7. What type of insurance does a florist provide?
Wife insurance.
8. Why don’t florists tell jokes about dead flowers?
Because they make no scents.
9. What did the florist say to the person who was applying for a job?
“Take it or leaf it.”
10. Did you hear about the man that was caught stealing at the florist?
When the cops arrived, he insisted it was a plant.
More Amazing Florist Jokes
Florists design flower arrangements for a variety of occasions such as weddings, funerals, holidays, birthdays, and corporate events. That’s why they will also appreciate these funny florist jokes.
11. The local florist is well-known amongst her regulars for her love of R&B music. Every customer that goes into her shop always gets a blast of soul museum from the loudspeakers in the shop. During the holidays, one of her customers comes into the shop and asks the florist how much it would be to purchase a Christmas wreath. The florist replies that it is $100 for a big Christmas wreath. The customer is flabbergasted and says in a shocked voice, “Why is it so much to purchase a Christmas wreath?” The florist looks back at her and blinks unbelievably. “Didn’t you know,” the florist said in a soulful voice, “it is a wreath, a Franklin.”
12. A group of friars needed to raise funds quickly as they were behind in their payments and were running out of the ability to keep up with the payments needed for basic necessities. Wondering what to do, one of the friar suggested that they should open up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Their shop became very popular and plenty of people flocked to their flower shop to buy flowers. As a result, the rival florist across town was very unhappy with the friars. The rival florist hired Hue, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” the friars to close their flower shop. Terrified, they did so. This proves that Hue, and only Hue, can prevent florist friars.
13. What do you say when you want a florist to drive faster?
“Floret.”
14. Did you hear about the lazy florist who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
15. What do you call a horticulturist who started running and cannot stop running?
Florist Gump.
16. How did the florist make a living?
She went from house to house petaling her wares.
17. What is a florist’s pick up line?
“You’re simply iris-istible.”
18. A man in a flower shop was trying to pick the perfect bouquet for his wife. He said, “It’s crazy how much money you gotta spend on something that’s just going to die.” The florist assistant replied, “I know… and you gotta buy them flowers too.”
19. What did the florist study in college?
Stem.
20. Did you hear about the flower shop that burst into flames?
It was a florist fire.
Even More Corny Florist Jokes
A good florist has a broad knowledge of different flower species, their seasons, and how they can be used in arrangements. Keep these florist jokes in mind and you can add them on to your list of skills too!
21. What did the man say when his wife asked him why he never bought her flowers?
He said, “You sell flowers?!?”
22. How do florists greet each other when they see each other on the street?
Hey bud.
23. I’m sorry,” said the florist, “we don’t have potted geraniums. Would you be okay to use African violets instead?” Sadly, the customer replied saying, “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”
24. Why did the florist hide away the flower that she considered dangerous?
Because it had a concealed pistil.
26. Why wasn’t the florist able to sell flowers to her customers?
Because she had not botany.
27. A new business is opening and one of the owner’s friends wants to send him flowers for the occasion. The flowers arrive at the new business site and the owner reads the card: “Rest in Peace.” Understandably the owner is angry and calls the florist to complain. After he tells the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he is, the florist replies, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should be glad that it isn’t worse.” “What do you mean it isn’t worse?” said the man to the florist. The florist replied, “Imagine this. Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.’”
28. Did you hear about the florist who gave the customer the wrong flowers?
They were called oopsie daisies.
29. Did you hear about the florist who went on a date with another florist?
It’s a budding romance.
30. What did the florist say after he told a joke?
“I was just pollen your leg!”
If you enjoyed these funny florist jokes, we think that you will also appreciate these police jokes, chef jokes, biology jokes, science jokes and these accountant jokes too.