Duck jokes are great and not fowl at all! After all, ducks are common animals that can be found all over the world, inhabiting a variety of environments such as freshwater lakes, rivers, marshes, and coastal waters.
Did you know that there are over 120 different species of ducks? Perhaps it is because of this ubiquity that ducks often become the subject of funny duck jokes and puns. Or it could also be because of their characteristics like the sound they make and their bills.
We hope that you enjoy these funny duck jokes that will surely have you laughing away!
Funny Duck Jokes That Fit the Bill
1. What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case!”
2.How do you properly greet a very fancy duck as you walk by?
M’lard
3. What did the lawyer say to the duck in court?
“I demand an egg-splanation!”
4. How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers
5. Why did the duck sleep under the car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
6. Why were there ducks in Congress?
They were there to introduce their bills.
7. Why did the man who was being pelted by rotten tomatoes pull out a bird from under his coat?
Because it was time to duck.
8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a duck?
Nobody ever complains about a duck’s bill.
9. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a duck?
The duck is much less greasy.
10. I can’t take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to bite him.
My fault for getting one that’s pure bread.
11. What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus?
A Christmas quacker.
12. What noise does a quantum duck make?
Quark
13. Why is it hard to tell rubber ducks apart?
Because they look egg-xactly the same!
14. What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any!”
15. Did you hear about the duck who got a nose job?
He didn’t like the bill.
16. Where do tough ducks come from?
Hard-boiled eggs.
17. Platypus walks into Duck’s bar. He finishes his drink and Duck gives him the check.
Duck billed Platypus
18. A chicken saw a duck standing by the side of the road.
The chicken called out to the duck: Don’t do it pal. You’ll never hear the end of it!
19. What do you call a cow and two ducks?
Milk and quackers.
20. What do you call a cat that swallows a duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-puss.
21. When is roast duck bad for your health?
When you’re the duck.
22. How do you eat duck eggs?
First you gotta quack em open!
23. Did you hear about the duck who thought he was a squirrel?
That was one tough nut to quack.
24. At what time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
25. What do ducks say when people throw things at them?
“Time to duck!”
26. Doctor! Doctor! I think my duck is turning French.
Doctor: That’s okay, you can’ardly tell.
27. What is a chick’s favorite drink?
Peepsi.
28. What is the baby duck’s favorite game?
Beak-a-boo.
29. What do you call a rude duck?
A duck with a quackitude.
30. I was walking passed a farm and a sign said ‘Duck, eggs’.
I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.
Funny Duck Jokes that Will Get You Laughing
Ducks are known for their distinctive vocalizations, including quacks, whistles, and grunts. While the stereotypical “quack” is most associated with female mallards. That has not stopped plenty of duck jokes and puns to riff off the quacks!
31. What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
32. Why do ducks hate paying for utilities?
Because they have enough bills as it is
33. If a duck says “Quack quack,” what says “Quick quick?”
A duck with hiccups.
34. What do you call a clever duck?
A wise quacker.
35. Why do ducks fly south for the winter?
It’s too far to waddle.
36. Why did the duck get a red card in the football game?
For fowl-play.
37.Where did the duck go when he was sick?
To the ducktor.
38. What do you call a duck that steals?
A robber ducky.
39. Two ducks were swimming in a pond. One of them said “Quack quack.”
Then the other said, “Hey, I was about to say that!”
40. Why do ducks lay eggs?
They would break if they dropped them.
41. Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck?
Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.
42.Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Quack! Quack who? Quack open the door and you’ll see!
43.Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are quacked.
44. A family of ducks filed for bankruptcy.
They had too many bills.
45. What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?
A fire-quacker.
46. What is a duck’s favorite snack?
Quackers.
47. What kind of TV shows do ducks watch?
Duckumenteries.
48. What did the duck say when the waitress came?
“Put it on my bill!”
49. What is a duck’s favorite type of sweets at Halloween?
Peeps
50. Why do ducks check the news?
For the feather forecast.
51. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…
Run away because ducks shouldn’t be talking
52. What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
53. What is the one unpleasant thing about ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant?
The bill
54. On what side does a duck have the most feathers?
The outside.
55. What did the ducks carry their schoolbooks in?
Their quack-packs.
56. Why did the duck cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
57.What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and chickens?
Fowl weather.
58. What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s buttquack.
59. How does a duck carry his school books?
Bwack pwack
60. How do ducks talk?
They don’t; they quack.
More Duck Jokes and Puns
Some ducks, like the mallard, feed on the surface of the water or tip forward to reach underwater plants. This characteristic is quite a cute one, isn’t it? That’s how you may also find these duck jokes – cute!
61. What type of food do you get when you cross a duck with a mole?
Quackamole.
62. What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
63. What do you get when you crossbreed a cat with a duck
A platypuss
64.. What’s a duck’s favorite ballet?
The Nutquacker.
65. Why was the duck put into the basketball game?
To make a fowl shot!
66. Why are ducks so likeable?
Because they’re suducktive
67. What did the duck say to the banker?
“My bill is bigger than yours.”
68. Why do ducks say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
69. Why do ducks hate reading directions?
They prefer to wing it.
70. What did the duck say to the corn it ate for lunch?
You taste a-maize-ing.
71. Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
72. What do duck physicists say?
“Quark, quark.”
73. Two ducks were skipping down a sidewalk when, suddenly, one tripped and fell. It got up and said to the other duck,
“I’m sorry — I tripped on a quack!”
74. What is a duck’s favorite sea monster?
The quacken.
75. Why do ducks never grow up?
Because they grow down.
76. Where can you find pictures of duck feet?
They’re on the webbed.
77. What show do ducks watch on TV?
Duckumentaries.
78. What do mallards eat at a baseball game?
Quacker-jacks.
79. What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
80. What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond?
Duck!
81. Why did the duck go to the bank?
He wanted to get a new bill.
82. What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
83. Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
84. How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t get down off a horse — you get down off a duck.
85. What language does a duck use to talk to geese in?
Portu-geese.
86. What do they say about French ducks?
They have a certain je ne sais quack about them.
87. Chicken! Duck! Pheasant!
Oh, sorry — excuse my fowl language.
88. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck?
He avoids walking into a bar.
89. Why didn’t the duck have any money?
Because he already had a big bill.
We hope that you have enjoyed these duck jokes and puns. We think that you will also enjoy these pickle jokes, airplane jokes, bowling jokes and train jokes.