Going for a colonoscopy may not be the most pleasant thing to do in the world but these colonoscopy jokes will hopefully help to make you feel better. No one enjoys going for these procedures but at least these funny jokes will help to lighten up the mood in the doctor’s office.
Here are some funny colonoscopy jokes that will make your day slightly brighter. Or you can also use them to make a funny wisecrack to the doctor!
Funny Colonoscopy Jokes to Remember
1. What’s the difference between a colonoscopy and an endoscopy?
The taste.
2.My friend asked me about what happens during a colonoscopy.
I started to tell him. However, explaining the process was a pain in the ass.
3. My colonoscopy wasn’t the best experience of my life.
Butt it was up there.
4. I got my colonoscopy results
The doctor gave me two thumbs up!
5. After my colonoscopy, I asked my doctor and nurses if I could list them as references on my resume.
They are the only ones who truly know me inside and out.
6. I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill.
Now I’m in arrears.
7. Which historical figure do you not want a colonoscopy from?
Jack the Ripper
8. Why are colonoscopies so important?
Because they really help doctors get to the bottom of your health issues.
9. What did the doctor ask the composer right before his colonoscopy?
How many movements?
10. I had a colonoscopy recently, and believe it or not, getting the camera up there doesn’t hurt as much as you might think.
It’s the crew that’s the killer.
11. I have inner beauty
And the colonoscopy video to prove it.
12. What does a colonoscopy look for?
Fartifacts
13. What do you call an Irish proctologist?
Colin O’Scopy.
14. Today I had both colonoscopy and gastroscopy
In a few hours I’ll see my self out.
15. My uncle has a colonoscopy scheduled for this afternoon.
Butt don’t worry; he should be fine.
Discover More Colonoscopy Jokes
We hope that you are enjoying these funny colonoscopy jokes. We have even more that you can uncover below!
16. That new vet really screwed up my pig’s colonoscopy
He’s pretty ham-fisted
17. My friend was supposed to get a colonoscopy today, but he told me that it was postponed because he was sick.
I told him not to worry as he will still get it in the end.
18. What kind of camera do doctors use for colonoscopies?
GoProbes.
19. My doctor says I have to go for a colonoscopy next week.
It’s a real bummer.
20. Did you hear about the doctor who was tired of hear about colonoscopy jokes?
He had a rebuttal for every single joke.
21. My father had a colonoscopy and had to then have surgery to remove a tumor in his colon.
Now he has a semi-colon.
22. What did the protologist say?
I’m tired of being the butt of all these colonoscopy jokes.
23. What do trainee proctologists have to do to rise up in their careers?
Work their y way up from the bottom.
24. I’ve just seen the video of my colonoscopy.
The picture was crap.
25. After I had my colonoscopy, the proctologist asked if I had any questions.
Apparently, “Do you do birthday parties?” was the wrong answer.
26. I’ve been in the doctor’s office for an hour, waiting to be called back for my colonoscopy.
I guess they are really backed up today.
27. I got one of those at-home colonoscopy tests.
The results were really hard to swallow.
28. What did the dog say to the man after his colonoscopy?
Ruff.
29. How do you properly toast someone drinking their colonoscopy prep?
“Bottoms up!”
30. Did you hear about the golfer who started a colonoscopy clinic?
He does 18 holes a day.
Even More Colonoscopy Jokes for Laughs in the Doctor’s Office
Humor can be a great way to diffuse a tense situation. We hope that these colonoscopy jokes help you get through whatever situation you may find yourself in.
31. What should a colonoscopy be really called?
A colonoscopoo.
32. I recently had a colonoscopy.
I learned that my wife is wrong and my head is not up there.
33. My doctor told me he found something alarming in my colonoscopy.
It was an alarm clock.
34. I had a colonoscopy yesterday, and I think the doctor must have gotten carried away.
I said to him, “Can you back that up a little? It’s irritating my tonsils.”
35. Did you hear about the psychiatrist and proctologist who opened a practice together?
They called it “Odds and Ends.”
36. “Straight ahead for a bit; then there’s a sharp left, so take it slowly,” I said.
“The screen is for my benefit, Mr Smith, “and this isn’t my first colonoscopy.”
37. What do is it called when a turtle doctor does your colonoscopy?
It is a slow poke.
38. A proctologist is about to write something on his patient’s notes, but when he goes to take his pen out of his pocket, he realizes it’s actually his thermometer that’s there.
He says, “Darn, some bum has my pen.”
39. A man gets released from his first colonoscopy into the recovery room. His wife and doctor arrive bedside to discuss the results of his operation. Before the doctor can open his mouth, the wife says, “Did you find his head?”
40. I had to go to the hospital for a gastroscopy today. There were three other guys in the waiting room. The doctor came through and explained what was happening to the four of us. He said that I was having the gastroscopy, which is the camera down the throat, and the other three were there for a colonoscopy, which is the camera up the butt. He then asked if any of us had any questions. I said, “Yes… can I go first?”
41. Three guys are talking in a bar one day. They start talking about how their cars reflect their careers. The first guy says, “I’m a museum docent, and so I drive a cheap Escort.” The second guy says, “I’m a herpetologist, and so I drive a Dodge Viper.” The third guy says, “I’m a proctologist, and I drive a brown Probe.”
We hope that you have enjoyed these funny colonoscopy jokes. If you have, we think that you will also enjoy these funny firefighter jokes and puns.