The work of a carpenter is essential in the construction industry. More than a job, carpentry is a craft – just like how a good carpenter joke is a craft that can be finely assembled to evoke laughter.

Carpenters take on various tasks. These range from building frameworks for houses and buildings to crafting fine furniture and cabinetry. This creates many opportunities for funny carpentry jokes and puns.

“Wooden” you like to hear them? Let us get into the funny carpenter and carpentry jokes. You will be laughing your head off and will believe that you never “saw” them coming!

Funny Carpenter Jokes & Puns

1. Did you hear about the carpenter who passed his carpentry exams with flying colors?
He nailed it!

2. Why are rouge carpenters so hard for the police to catch?
Because they are always a step ahead.

3. What did the carpenter on the pirate ship say?
Shiver me timbers!

4. Did you hear about the carpenter who had to choose his hammer and something to help him reach the ceiling?
He chose the ladder.

5. Did you hear about the carpenter who came around the other day?
He made quite the entrance.

6. Why are carpenters always the first to disappear after a party?
Because they always make a bolt for the door.

7. Why do carpenters make the best witnesses?
Because they saw everything.

8. Why was the carpenter happy with himself even though he came in last in the race?
Because he had done his level best.

9. The carpenter was called to take the witness stand in court by the lawyer. After being badgered repeatedly by the lawyer, the carpenter had had enough. He stood up with gusto and declared to the entire courtroom, “I know what I saw!”

10. How can you tell that a carpenter is superstitious?
When he is always knocking on wood.

11. Why couldn’t the carpenter find his tools in his workshop?
Because he was looking in awl the wrong places.

12. What happened to the door after the carpenter told him he was being replaced?
It got angry and became unhinged.

13. How do you torture a carpenter?
Rip out his nails.

14. Why is hard to get to know a carpenter?
Because they are always building walls around themselves.

15. Did you know that there is a show where you can pay money to watch a carpenter throw a long, pointed tool into another long pointed too?
Awl in awl, it is a cool experience.

More Funny Carpenter Jokes

Carpenters play a vital role in shaping the built environment, from the structural components of buildings to the intricate details that enhance their functionality and beauty. So let’s celebrate the important role that they play with some light-hearted carpenter jokes.

16. What type of fish is the best at woodworking?
A carp-enter.

17. A man manages to break her door and takes it to a carpenter to get it fixed. He says to the carpenter, “Could you please fix this for me?”. The carpenter replies, “Sure, but if you’re here, couldn’t someone be robbing your house?” The man replied, “Oh but how would they enter, the door is with me!”

18. What did the carpenter take to the doctor?
Stool samples.

19. How does a carpenter effectively build stairs?
He thinks one step ahead

20. What do you call a carpenter bee wearing a cape?
A wood-bee hero!

21. Why is it better to hire a carpenter to make furniture than to try to make it yourself?
Because it sure woodwork.

22. Did you hear about the carpenter who brought his friend a single plank of wood by 5 o’clock today? The carpenter’s friends was livid. “Whats wrong?” asked the carpenter.
The friend replied, “You were supposed to bring me 2 by 4!”

23. Did you hear what happened to the blind carpenter?
He picked up a hammer and saw.

24. Why are cabinet makers so slow at making furniture?
Because they are counter-productive.

25. Why was the client unhappy with his new table?
Because the carpenter had cut some corners.

26. Did you hear about the incontinent carpenter?
He specialised in staining chairs.

27. Why was the carpenter invited to the debutant ball?
Because he knew how to make an amazing entrance!

28. Why is the government like a carpenter’s workshop?
Because the cabinets always need to be fixed.

29. Did you hear about the man who told his carpenter that he didn’t want carpeted steps?
The carpenter just gave him a blank stair.

30. Did you hear about the accountant from Pennsylvania who moved to Seoul to be a carpenter?
He fancied a Korea change.

Even More Hilarious Carpenter and Carpentry Jokes

Carpenters often work with tools like hammers, saws, drills, chisels, and levels. These tools often find their way into carpenter jokes and puns.

31. A carpenter made some coffee tables to sell. After spending weeks painstakingly constructing, carving and varnishing them, he was finally ready to put them up for sale. One Sunday morning, he took them to the local flea market in his town to try to sell them. However, try as he might, none of them sold. By the end of the day, the tables were still unsold. It turns out they weren’t poplar.

32. Why was the carpenter’s apprentice’s nickname “Lightning”?
Because lightning never strikes the same spot twice.

33. What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
A second matching one for the other side of the bed.

34. Did you hear about the carpenter who died when he fell into a vat of varnish?
It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.

35. How can you tell when a carpenter is feeling nervous?
Because he bites his nails.

36. Why are anarchists bad at carpentry?
Because they have no rulers

37. What does a novice woodworker have in common with a constipated woodworker?
In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.

38. Did you hear about the carpenter who was fired?
He did not measure up to the job.

39. What do you get when you cross a carpenter with a shoemaker?
Wooden shoe like to know!

40. A dog is looking for work. He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign. The dog goes to the foreman and says he’s willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction. The dog replies, “Some; I’ve got a lot of experience with woofing!”

41. Did you hear about the carpenter who is hiring new people?
He is looking for joiners.

42. Which breakfast gurus would you ask for carpentry advice?
The saw sages.

43. Did you hear about the carpenter who accidentally sawed off his left hand?
His doctor said that he will be all right.

44. Why do people groan at carpenter jokes?
Because the jokes don’t cut it.

45. Did you hear the joke about carpentry?
I would love to tell it but I’m afraid that I am not sure if it wood work.

46. Do you want to hear another jokes about carpentry with some added metal work?
Never mind, i realised it steel wooden work.

We hope that you’ve enjoyed these funny carpenter jokes and puns. We think that you will also enjoy these astronaut jokes, plumber jokes and electrician jokes.