Car jokes are plenty of fun. Whether you get excited by a shiny new corvette or a vintage vehicle with all the trimmings of a classic automobile, these car jokes are a super fun way to get a laugh from the audience.
Let us dive into this entire array of funny car jokes that draw on puns and silly word associations to get a laugh. Whether you are seasoned driver, or a newbie driver, these hilarious car jokes will surely get a giggle.
Funny Car Jokes
1. Did you hear about the man who had a dream that he was a muffler?
He woke up exhausted.
2. What happens when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
3. Did you hear about the man who was into health crazes?
He took the carb-orator off his car!
4. Why did the police officer pull over the U-Haul truck?
Because he wanted to bust a move.
5. Did you hear about the car that stopped worked after it had its wheels changed?
It was retired.
6. Why did the man working at a Land Rover factory find it so interesting?
Because he made a new Discovery every day.
7. What do autoworkers do on Cinco de Mayo?
They have a Fiesta.
8. What brand of cars do people in Norway drive?
Fjords.
9. What do you call a Ford Fiesta that has run out of gas?
A Ford Siesta.
10. You should get a job at a transmission repair shop.
I’m sure you’ll get used to the early-morning shifts.
11. If you ever feel like your job has no purpose, always remember that there is someone who is installing a turn signal in a BMW.
12. The Japanese needed a name for a car company and quickly. They called the Germans and offered them $100 million if they could come with a name by the next day. The German said “Dat soon?!”. The Japanese said thank you and hung up.
13. I really need to get my car fixed.
What body shop do you wreck-amend?
14. If Dodge made an electric car, what would it be called?
A Dodge Chargeable?
15. What does a Volkswagen run on?
Beetle juice.
16. What do you call the new car smell that comes with new Teslas?
Elon Musk.
17. What do you call a Volkswagen bus at the top of a hill?
A miracle.
18. When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway.
19. There is a handyman going door to door looking for work. He walks up to an old man’s house asking if there’s anything he needs done. “I need my porch painted” the old man says. “Ok, give my a couple of hours” the handyman says. A few hours pass and the handyman knocks on the door to let the old man know he’s done. He answers and says “Wow, that was quick”. “Yeah, but there’s just one problem” the handyman says. “you have a Corvette, not a Porsche”
20. What do Volkswagen cars play on the weekend?
Golf.
21. Did you know that sound travels faster than light. That is why you can hear the horn of the BMW behind you before the light turns green?
22. What’s the best pickup line?
Probably Chevy’s.
23. What does FORD stand for?
Fix Or Replace Daily.
24. What does BMW stand for?
Broke My Wallet.
25. What is a cat’s favorite car?
A Cat-illac.
26. What is a frog’s favorite type of car?
A Beetle!
27. Why did the actor drive his car in front of a mirror?
Because he needed a body double.
28. What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?
Carpet.
29. Why can’t cars play football?
Because they have only one boot.
30. What is the worst thing about parallel parking?
The witnesses.
31. Why are formula one drivers the best people to go to for dating advice?
Because they are trained to look out for red flags.
32. The doctor accused me of being addicted to brake fluid.
But I can stop anytime I like.
33. Racecar backwards is racecar.
Racecar upside down is expensive.
More Funny Car Jokes and Humor
With so many different car brands available, it is not surprising that you will find many car jokes to be based on people’s experiences with different types of cars and car models.
34. What did the tornado say to the car?
Want to go for a spin?
35. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
36. What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S?
Automobile.
37. I got stopped at customs by a guard demanding to know why there were two of us in a Fiat uno. “This is ridiculous, let me speak to your supervisor!” I said. “He’ll be with you in a moment,” came the reply, “he’s dealing with three people in an Audi quattro”.
38. Who can drive customers away and still make money?
Taxi drivers.
39. A man tried to get into a nightclub with a set of jumper cables as a necktie. The bouncer said ‘ok, you can come in but don’t start anything’.
40. Which Johnny doesn’t need a car?
Johnny Walker.
41. Did you hear about the man who drove his expensive car into a tree?
He found out how the Mercedes bends.
42. Why didn’t the two Alfa Romeo owners say hi to each other when they met at the bar?Because they saw each other at the mechanic’s earlier that day.
43. A snail won the jackpot on the lottery. He decided to buy a car. He went to the Rolls Royce garage and ordered the best car, fully modified for him to drive. On delivery, the salesman enquired, why have you had a large S painted on the hood and door panels. Snail replies, “Because I’m small no one will see me driving the car. But they will turn their heads and say. Look at that S Car Go.”
44. Why couldn’t the frog find where he parked his car?
Because he had been toad.
45. What do you call the world’s most badass sedan?
A Liam Nissan.
46. What’s a car’s favorite meal of the day?
Brake-fast.
47. Why is a Korean car the opposite of a Finnish cell phone?
One is Kia. The other is No-Kia.
48. Wanna hear a vintage car joke?
I’m still working on it.
49. Did you hear about the man who owned a DeLorean?
He only drove it from time to time.
50. What’s Vin Diesel’s favorite car?
Mazda Familia.
51. How do Prius owners drive?
One hand on the wheel, the other patting themselves on the back.
52. Did you hear about the Yoga class for electric cars?
They just park in circle and say “ohm” the whole time.
53. What is the difference between a Fiat and a golf ball?
You can drive a golf ball more than 200 yards.
54. Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
Because if they had four they’d be chicken sedans.
55. My wife said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.
56. What kind of car does a dog hate?
Cor-vets.
57. What is a car’s least favorite type of vegetable?
Leeks.
58. Why did the man decide not to buy a new electric car after going to the dealership.
Because their prices were just too shocking.
59. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.
60. What kind of petrol does Vin use?
Diesel.
61. What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
62. What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis!
63. Why do the penguins make good F1 drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
64. What type of car do sheep like to drive?
A Lamborghini!
65. How do you make a small fortune racing cars?
Start with a large fortune.
Even More Car Jokes and Puns
Many car jokes play on words and puns. They often mock what car owners experience with their cards.
66. Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
67. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
Fill it up with gas.
68. Where do dogs park their cars?
In the barking lot.
69. What does the car brand FIAT stand for?
Fix-It Again Tomorrow.
70. Did you hear about the truck carrying blackberries that had an accident and spilled out onto the highway.
It was quite a traffic jam.
71. What do you need to be able to drive in the Australian outback?
You need to show koala-fications.
72. What kind of vehicle does a chicken drive?
A coop.
73. How does a German cowboy say hello?
Audi.
74. Why is Miss Piggy such a bad driver?
Because all she does is hog the road.
75. What do you do with old German cars?
You take them to the old Volk’s home.
76. Did you hear about the Subaru that accidentally skidded over the bridge?
It is now a Scuba-ru.
77. What is the best part about Audi’s customer service?
They answer within four rings.
78. What type of snakes are found on cars?
Windshield Vipers!
79. You know what really grinds my gears?
Clutch failure.
80. What kind of car does Yoda drive?
A Toyoda.
81. How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
82. What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian.
83. What happened to the Audi after it got into a car wreck?
The Audi became an innie.
84. Why did the electric car go to court?
It was charged with battery.
85. What cars do snakes drive?
An ana-Honda.
86. What cars do cows drive?
A Horn-da.
87. Guy walks into an auto parts store and says to the counterman “I’d like new air freshener for my Yugo.” The guy behind the counter shakes his hand and says “OK, that sounds like a pretty decent trade.”
88. How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a-Ford-able.
89. Someone complimented me on my driving the other day.
They left a note on the windscreen – Parking Fine!
90. What is a car’s preferred cell phone brand?
No-Kia.
91. Did you hear about the accident involving the guitar truck?
It was a fender-bender.
92. Why did the washing machine schedule a test drive?
Because he wanted to go for a spin.
93. Did you hear about the guy who couldn’t work out how to fasten his seatbelt?
And then it clicked.
94. What’s the difference between a Ferrari and six trash bags full of recyclable cans?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
95. Did you hear that a man has been stealing wheels from police cars?
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
96. What do you call a car salesman who is known for offering great prices on cars?
A car-deal-ologist.
97. What kind of cars do cooks drive?
Chef-rolets.
98. What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I am about to change.
99. What do you call a German electric car?
A Voltswagen.
100. Did you hear about the man who loves washing the car with his son?
Family services told him that he should use a sponge instead.
101. What do you say to a frog who needs a ride?
“Hop in.”
102. What did the computer say to the other person after a 23 hour car ride?
Damn, that was a hard drive.
103. I just got nine out of 10 on my driver’s test.
The last guy was able to get out of the way.
104. Two old people sit on the porch, chatting. The first guy says, “I hear up in the Seattle it rains cats and dogs!” “Oh!” the second guy answers. “That doesn’t sound so bad. I hear in New York City it’s hailing taxis!”
105. What happens if a car is chasing you?
You will definitely get tired.
106. What happens if you chase cars?
You will get exhausted.
107. What do you call a guy who always loses his car?
Carlos.
We hope that you’ve enjoyed these amazing car jokes. We think that you will also like these trucker jokes, actor jokes, pirate jokes, train jokes, turtle jokes, colonoscopy jokes, bowling jokes and these florist jokes.