Looking for a way to infuse some laughter into your workday? You’ve come to the right place! Our collection of the best business jokes and humor is sure to brighten your day and bring a smile to your face. From puns and one-liners to amusing anecdotes and witty observations, we’ve got it all. So sit back, relax, and prepare to laugh it up with our hilarious selection of business humor.
Funny Business Jokes for All Occasions
1. Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?
He lost interest.
2. I phoned a call center today and it said all the advisors were engaged. I was delighted for them but my TV is still broken.
3. What do you call a startup that never takes off?
Grounded.
4. “Boss I need a raise – there are three companies after me right now.”
“Really? Which ones?”
“Gas, electric, and water.”
5. Since three out of four small businesses fail, my recommendation would be to start a large business.
6. My wife tells me I talk in my sleep all the time. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work ever mentions it.”
7. The closest people come to perfection are on an employment application.
8. When he came to the bottom of the job application where it says, “Sign Here,”
he wrote “Scorpion.”
9. If somebody asks you if you want to break into the jewelry business, think carefully about what they’re actually offering.
10. ‘How well do you work with PowerPoint?’
‘I think I Excel with it’
‘Is that a computer joke?’
‘Word’
11. If Apple entered the car manufacturing market, would they have Windows?
12. Did you hear about the businessman who gave a talk for one hour?
Whatever he lacked in content, he made up for in length!
13. Did you hear about the man who’s boss asked him to roundup 17 employees pronto?
He quickly said, “20.”
14. What is a committee?
A group of people who keep minutes but lose hours.
15. Did you hear about the man who found a job helping a one-armed typist do capital letters?
It’s shift work.
16. What’s the best way of making a small fortune in the stock market?
Start off with a large fortune.
17. Did you hear about man who kept trying to start a hot air balloon business?
It just didn’t take off.
18. Why is a positive attitude good even though it may not solve all your problems?
Because it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
19. Did you hear about the man who really wanted to be a banker when he was young?
He kept losing interest.
20. A local hairdresser put up a new sign ‘we give $3 haircuts’.
Seeing this, the barber next door decided to erect their new sign ‘we fix $3 haircuts’.
21. What is the role of stock analysts?
Making weather forecasters look good!
22. ‘Is our money all gone?’
‘No, don’t panic…it’s just with somebody else at the moment’
23. What is the most remarkable inventions of the last century?
The dry erase board.
Business Jokes for a Good Laugh
These business jokes may be simple, but they can do wonders in livening up the office and creating a more positive work environment. So the next time you’re feeling the stress of the workday, take a step back and have a laugh.
24. Did you hear about the man who was fired when his boss asked him to put a joke on the first slide of the presentation?
Apparently a picture of his pay slip wasn’t what he was looking for.
25. How do you know when you are a walking economy?
When your hairline is in recession, your stomach is always in inflation, and these two together bring you into a deep depression’.
26. Did you hear about the man whose boss told him to stop acting like a flamingo?
He had to put his foot down.
27. What do you do if a neighboring business puts up a sign saying ‘lowest prices’?
Put up a sign saying ‘main entrance’!
28. Boss to employees: ‘We will continue to have these meetings every single day until I work out why no work is being done’! ‘We need somebody for this role who is responsible.’
Employee: Not a problem, boss. Every time something went wrong in my old job, my manager told me I was always responsible!‘
29. Why did the doughnut maker retire?
Because hee was tired of the hole business!
30. The banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, “Can you float alone?” “Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”
31. What happens when business slows right down at a medicine factory?
You can hear a cough drop.
32. What did the ruthless businessperson say to their employees?
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re fired!
33. Why did the electrician close his business once a week?
Because business was light.
34. What happened when the boss told his female employee that she drew her eyebrows too high?
She seemed surprised.
35. What business is full of ups and downs?
A yo-yo manufacturer.
36. Why was the man fired from the orange juice factory?
He just couldn’t concentrate.
37. I just had to fire my acupuncturist; he kept talking to my friends about me…the backstabber!
38. Did you hear about the businessman who once owned a paper business?
Unfortunately, it folded.
39. Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing!
40. Why did the baker close down the bakery?
Because he just wasn’t making enough dough.
41. What did the man get fired from his job as a train driver?
Because he kept getting sidetracked.
42. Did you hear about the employee who was fired because his communication skills weren’t up to scratch?
He didn’t know what to say.
43. I had a nightmare of a day, the computers went down and everything had to be done manually. It took me ten minutes just to shuffle the cards for solitaire.
44. I reached the office this morning and the boss stormed up to me and said ‘you missed work yesterday, didn’t you?’. I said ‘No, not particularly.’.
45. What did the man say when the interviewer told his his wage would increase by $2,500 after six months?
He said he would start then.
More Hilarious Business Jokes and Puns
Humor has always been an effective way to break the ice and bring people together. In the business world, it can also help create a more relaxed and enjoyable work environment. There are many different types of business jokes that can be used to lighten the mood.
Whether you’re using humor to lighten the mood or just to bring a smile to someone’s face, there are plenty of types of jokes to choose from. Puns, one-liners, and witty anecdotes are just a few that you can use to add a little levity to the business world.
46. Did you hear about the boss who very easygoing?
He told his employees not to think of him as the boss, rather, think of him as a friend who is never wrong.
47. How many marketers does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, they have already automated it.
48. Why did the banker push over the customer?
Because he asked him to check his balance.
49. Did you hear about the businessman who stayed in exclusive hotel on the last business trip?
Even room service had an unlisted number!
50. Did you hear about the man who gave a great 10-minute business speech yesterday?
The only problem was it took him an hour to deliver it.
51. How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb?
Is it one or two? One… or two? One…or two?
52. Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for over 30 years?
Despite trying his hardest, he didn’t get one single customer…all this time and nothing to chauffeur it.
53. What did the two business people say to each other whilst closing a deal during an earthquake?
Let’s shake on it!
54. Why are barbers some of the best drivers around?
Because they know all the short cuts.
55. Tell me, how many people work in your company?
About half!
56. I’ve been told by coworkers that I’m condescending…that means I talk down to people.
57. Why did the man leave his job as the host of a blackjack table?
Because he got a better deal.
58. My job at the paperless factory was going really well…until I went to the loo.
59. Employee 1: ‘You can’t wear pajamas to work’
Employee 2: ‘Why not? Everyone else does’
Employee 1: ‘That’s because they’re the patients!’
60. My new colleagues are so much fun, they write names on all the food. Yesterday, I ate a yogurt named ‘Susan’; how cute is that?
61. Sadly, the man who invented autocorrect has passed away, restaurant in peace.
62. My friend loves a bargain, she’s always itching to get back to the flea market.
63. I see they’re thinking about using drones to deliver magazines, that’ll raise some issues.
64, ‘Who should we notify just in case you fall ill in the office?’
‘A very good doctor, please’
65. My job is incredibly secure, nobody wants it!
66. Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s actually Tuesday.
67. Apparently I ruined this year’s batch of calendars, I only took a day off.
68. Interviewer: ‘What’s your biggest weakness?’
Candidate: ‘I’m really honest’
Interviewer: ‘That’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know’
Canditdate: ‘I don’t really care what you think’
69. Is the glass half full? Is it half-empty? According to engineers, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Even More Funny Business Jokes
Overall, taking a light-hearted approach to work can make a significant difference in your work-life balance. So, go ahead and crack a joke or share a funny meme with your coworkers. A little humor at work can go a long way towards maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
70. My last boss said I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We’ll see about that.
71. What is a resume?
A list of things I hope future employers never ask me to do.
72. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer.
73. I started my business with nothing and I still have most of it.
74. We’re lucky that the last minute exists.
75. An archeologist’s career lies in ruins.
76. Ddi you hear about the psychic that lost his job?
He didn’t even see it coming!
77. I love being a maze designer, it’s so easy to get lost in my work.
78. ‘I’m never going to work for that boss ever again’
‘What did he say?’
‘You’re fired’
79. The trouble with being punctual for business meetings is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
80. Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.
81. Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under.
82. Old journalists don’t retire, they are just de-pressed.
83. After telling a joke, the manager looks around to see everybody laughing. However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile.
84. ‘Didn’t you get it?’
‘I got it, but I resigned yesterday’
85. Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes.
86. Sitting behind his new desk for the first time since opening for business, a young businessman spots his first client enter the outer offices. He picks up the phone and starts waving his hands around in the air, pretending to be deep in conversation about figures. Finally, he puts the phone down.
‘Hi, can I help you?’
‘Yes, I’m here to install the phone lines’
87. One day, a customer placed a huge order for numerous goods but suddenly the company realized they hadn’t paid for the previous order. Immediately, they left a message on their machine saying the new order cannot be placed until the last bill has been paid. The next morning, they opened their emails to find a reply ‘We would like to cancel our order, we just can’t wait that long’.
88. There once was a businessman who was so rich he had two swimming pools; one was always empty…it was for people who couldn’t swim.
89. Standing in front of the shredder, the new employee looked a little confused so a supervisor offers to help.
‘Are you ok?’
‘How do I get this thing to work?’
She takes the wad of paper from his hands and feeds it through.
‘Great, but where do the copies come out?’
90 Why did you leave your last job?
The company relocated and didn’t tell me where!
91. What happened to the man who said he doesn’t answer to anyone?
He lost his job at the call center.
92. What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?
Popular.
93. Why did the startup hire a magician as a CEO?
Because they wanted someone who could perform miracles with their budget.
94. Did you hear the joke about unemployed people?
Unfortunately, none of them work!
95. Why do entrepreneurs love Halloween? Because it’s the only time of year they can dress up as someone who made a profit.
96. How many entrepreneurs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just pivot to darkness.
97. Why did the marketing team hire a comedian?
To improve their sales pitch.
98. What do you call a group of businessmen who love to sing?
The pitch perfect chorus.
99. Why did the salesman bring a ladder to work?
To reach the sales quota!
100. Why did the accountant cross the road?
To bore the people on the other side about the tax code!
If you enjoyed these jokes, you may also enjoy these accountant jokes, engineer jokes and these baker jokes.