Beer has been around for a long time. Beer jokes have most likely been around for as long as beer too. These funny beer jokes are a great way to accompany a pint or a mug of the good stuff.
Lap up these funny beer jokes for a real good time!
Funny Beer Jokes That You Can Drink To
1. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “how much for a beer?”
The bartender replies, “for you? No charge!”
2.How can you tell that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made Budweiser.
3. Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive.
4. Why did the beer so dark?
Because it was toasted.
5. A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
6. A skeleton walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a mop.
7. Math Teacher: “If I have 5 beer bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”
Student: “A drinking problem.”
8. It takes me five minutes to walk to the local pub and 25 mins to walk back from it after a few beers.
The difference is staggering.
9. Why do beers never share their feelings?
Because they’re always bottled up.
10. A hot dog walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
More Funny Beer Jokes and Puns
Beer jokes are a great way to loosen at the bar. If you need a conversation starter, these funny beer jokes will certainly do the trick!
11. Did you hear about the new Australian kangaroo beer?
You can really taste the hops.
12. They say you can’t find happiness at the bottom of a beer.
No kidding, who’s happy when their beer is over?
13. When my friend fell asleep at the bar I poured ale at him.
It was a brewed awakening.
14. What’s a beer’s favorite kind of music?
Hip-hops.
15. A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, “I’ll have a…………beer.” The bartender responds, “what’s with the big pause?”
The bear holds up his arms and says, “always had ’em.”
16. How do you know if someone likes craft beer?
They will tell you.
17. What did the bottle write on the postcard?
Wish you were beer!
18. Do you know what happens when I drink beer?
IPA lot.
19. What is the definition of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
20. Why did the beer file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
More of the Best Beer Jokes Out There
Say cheers to even more of the best beer jokes and puns that you can imagine. We are sure that once you down a mug or two, these beer jokes will get even funnier and funnier. Be sure to share them around the bar or the office for a can of good laughs.
21. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
22. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a third of a beer… And so on.
The bartender says: “That is an infinite amount of beer. You guys need to know your limits!”
23. When do friends bring happiness into your life?
When they bring beer.”
24. What happened to the man who got “Stella Artois” tattooed onto his stomach?
Now he’s got a beer belly.
25. What does Santa Claus’s elves drink after a long day of work?
A polar beer.
26. Why do rabbits taste like beer?
Because of all the hops.
27. Why is beer healthy?
Because beer is made from hops. Hops is a plant. Therefore, beer is drinking a salad.
28. What is a beer drinker’s favorite Shakespeare quote?
To beer or not to beer, that is the question.
29. How are life and beer similar?
Chill for best results.
30. Give a man a beer, and he wastes an hour.
Teach a man how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
31. A gorilla visits a pub and orders a pint of beer. ‘That’ll be $12 bucks’ says the barman. The gorilla pays and the barman says ‘We don’t get many gorillas in the pub’.
The gorilla replies ‘ I’m not surprised at these prices’
32. Four beer company CEOs walk into a bar. The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light. The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light. The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke. The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn’t order a Guinness.
He replied: “I figured if you 3 weren’t ordering beer it would be rude for me to.”
33. Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer. As the bartender hands it to him, the guy realizes he really has to take a leak urgently. However, the bar is crowded, and he doesn’t want to leave his full beer on the bar because he’s afraid someone will drink it. After a sudden burst of inspiration, he pulls out a small pad of paper and writes on it: “I spit in this beer.” Putting the note on the beer, he heads off to the bathroom. When he returns, he’s delighted to see his full beer still sitting there with the note. Upon closer examination, though, he sees that someone has written on the note: “So did I.”
34. A man walks in a bar and shouts “free beers outside!” So everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement. The bartender, visibly angry, yells at the man “what the hell did you do that for? Now I have no customers!!”
The man says “Sorry mister, I honestly didn’t fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of them”
35. A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. After having the beer, he asks the bartender for the bill. “$3”, says the bartender. The man just for fun goes on and places a $1 coin on the three ends of the table. The bartender gives him a bad look but has no other option but to pick them up. This happened for five days and every day the bartender feels humiliated. The next day, the man orders a beer but couldn’t find three $1 coins to pay the bill. So, he hands the bartender a $5 note. Now, the bartender gets all excited and thinks that it is his day to avenge the hard time he had because of this man. He then places the two $1 coins at the opposite ends of the table. Now, with a shrewd smile and with all the excitement he goes to the man and says, “Go on, collect your change”.
The man then takes out a $1 coin from his pocket and puts it in front of the bartender and says, “One more beer please.”
36. Two guys were fishing from a boat in a pond. One of them saw a floating bottle and picked it up. When he pulled out the cork a genie emerged from the bottle. “Oh, thank you, thank you,” said the genie. “I’ve been trapped in that bottle for years. I’m going to grant you one wish as a reward for releasing me.” One of the men said, “Can you change all the water in this pond to beer?” “You’ve got it.” said the genie as he vanished. Both of the men dipped their cups into the pond for a taste. Sure enough, it was an excellent Belgian style lager. The second man said, “Way to go, man! You realize that from now on we have to pee into the boat?”
If you enjoyed these beer jokes, why not sip in these hilarious wine jokes and pizza jokes as well!