Astronauts play a crucial role in advancing human knowledge and capabilities in space exploration. With all that serious business they have to do, some fun astronaut jokes can help to lighten their payload.
Whether the plan is to command a spacecraft on a mission or to operate the sophisticated equipment on board, astronauts are highly trained and highly motivated individuals. That is why we have rigorously selected some of the best astronaut jokes to help reach for the stars!
Get ready to blast off for some fun and laughter with these great astronaut jokes and puns.
Astronaut Jokes that will Blast You Out of this World with Laughter
1. What kind of songs do astronauts sing?
Neptunes!
2. What do astronauts like to read in space?
Comet books!
3. Why did the astronaut stop working on the space project?
Because he had no comet-ment.
4. What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
The space bar!
5. Why did the astronaut not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
6. What do you call a loony spaceman?
An astro-nut!
7. Did you hear about the book about anti-gravity?
It is impossible to put down.
8. What type of tableware do astronauts use in space?
Flying saucers.
9. Why do all astronauts use a mac?
Because it is dangerous to open Windows in space.
10. What is an astronaut’s favorite Elton John song?
Rocketman!
11. How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?
With a tractor beam.
12. What goes “U-F-Ho-Ho-Ho”?
Santa flying through space.
13. How does an astronaut hold up his pants?
With an asteroid belt.
14. What is an astronaut’s favorite type of tea while in space?
Gravitea.
15. On the first day of astronaut training, an astronaut vomited. He asked the instructor, “Is this normal?”
The instructor replied saying, “Not during a written exam, no.”
16. If athletes get athlete’s foot, then what do astronauts get?
Missile-toe.
17. Astronaut 1: Hey, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
18. What do you call a lazy space explorer in space?
A procrastonaut.
19. How did the space teddy bear cross the road?
Ewoked.
Funny Astronaut Jokes & Puns
These funny astronaut jokes will take you out of this world. Don’t space out. Instead, lean in and get in on the jokes and laughter.
20. Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches?
In their launch boxes.
21. How many astronauts does it take to screw a light bulb?
One to screw the lightbulb and 100 others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.
22. Why did the astronaut throw away his vegetarian burger?
He wanted something meteor.
23. What is an astronauts’ favorite dance move?
The moonwalk.
24. Why are Astronauts always so calm?
There’s no pressure in space.
25. Why will space be a popular tourist spot?
The view is breathtaking and will leave you speechless.
26. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full!
27. Did you hear about the astronaut who was overcome with the beauty of the Earth from space and decided to remove his helmet?
The view was breathtaking.
28. How do you get an astronaut baby to fall asleep?
You rock it!
29. What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park your car in it man!
30. What do you call an astronaut that lifts weights?
Neil Armstrong
31. Why did the cow join the astronauts in the spaceship?
Because it wanted to see the mooooooon!
32. Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
The one with the biggest head.
33. What do you call a heavy spaceman?
A Masstronaut.
34. What did the astronaut see in the middle of Mars?
The letter A.
35. Why don’t astronauts need healthcare insurance cover?
Because they are never under the weather.
36. When do astronauts eat?
At launch time.
37. Why do astronauts on the International Space Station never spend much time in queues?
Because they are weightless.
38. What would you write for a dead astronaut?
An Orbituary.
39. Did you hear about the astronauts that got married to each other?
They were head over heels for each other.
Even More Astronaut Jokes
Astronauts may be scientists. But there is not need for science to appreciate these funny astronaut jokes and puns.
40. How did the astronaut break his phone?
He Saturn it.
41. Did you hear about kid who really wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up?
His parents told him that the sky’s the limit.
42. Did you hear about the astronaut who was pranked by his fellow astronauts who ejected him into space without a suit?
It made his blood boil.
43. What do astronauts eat in space for breakfast?
Spacetries.
44. How do you make an astronaut smile?
Take them out for launch in Houston.
45. Did you hear about the astronaut who was nonchalant about flying near a black hole?
He didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.
46. Did you hear about the two astronauts involved in a legal dispute?
They agreed to orbitration.
47. What do astronauts have for breakfast after a long night of drinking?
An unidentified frying object.
48. What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes?
“I guess you had to be there.”
49. Why are there not more dog astronauts?
They’re afraid of the vacuum.
50. What’s an astronaut’s favorite board game to play in space?
Moonopoly.
51. Why was the astronaut very critical of Orion’s belt?
Because it was a big waist of space.
52. Where did the astronaut park his spaceship?
Next to the parking meteor.
53. What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
54. Where do astronauts go to get their coffee?
Starbucks.
55. How do astronauts throw a party in space?
They planet.
56. What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
57. Why did the Americans win the space race?
Because the Soviets were Stalin.
58. What is an astronaut’s favorite time of day?
Launch time.
59. Why wasn’t the astronaut hungry?
Because he had a big launch.
60. What did the astronaut who wanted to start a fight in space say?
“Comet me, bro!”
61. Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend?
Because she needed some space.
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