Architect jokes are some of the best ways to have a laugh, especially when you are in the midst of a high pressure project.
We’ve put together some of the best architect jokes that are designed to get a host of laughter.
Best Funny Architect Jokes for Laughter
1. Who did Noah hire to build his boat?
An arkitect!
2. How do you get an affordable minimalist makeover in New York?
Leave a window open.
3. Why did the Architect dip his finger in blue ink?
To get a blueprint!
4. Why did the Architect wear two jackets when he painted the house?
Because the instructions on the can said “Put on two coats”.
5. Did you hear about the architect that got called pretty and it felt good about it?
Actually, the full sentence was “You’re a pretty bad architect” but he chose to focus on the positive.
6. Why do Architects laugh three times when they hear a joke?
Because they laugh once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.
7. What did the structural engineer say to the architect?
Nice Buttress.
8. An evil genie captured an Architect and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing.
The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn’t die of thirst.
The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off.
The Architect brought a car door because if it got too hot he could just roll down the window!
9. Why should you keep Andrew Carnegie away from your fridge?
Because he is a steal magnet.
10. Why do architects enjoy working with marble as a building material?
Because they do not want to take it for granite.
11. Why is the architecture in Louisiana bad?
Because any skyscraper there is either new or leans.
12. What does a female architect want?
A model husband.
13. What’s the difference between an architect and a lawyer?
An architect can bill you for both drawing up the plans and then making changes to them
14. Why did the architecture professor miss his class?
Because he had sprained his angle.
15. Did you hear about the architect that ‘veranda’ as an expletive?
It was a porch choice of words.
More Hilarious Architect Jokes
Have a good laugh at Architects with more of these funny architect jokes and puns.
16. A young architect goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”
The architect says “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The architect replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”
17. How do architects party?
They raise the roof.
18. Do you want to hear an Architect joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.
19. Why did the architect refuse to make his own sandwich.
Because he relies on sub contractors.
20. How are architecture students told to leave?
They are shown the doric.
21. What’s the difference between an architect and a goldfish?
A goldfish can only look at one plan at a time.
22. What is a famous circular museum in New York devoted to Internet search engines?
The Googlenheim.
23. A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am? I promised a friend I would be back in a half hour!” The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above a wheat field at 45 degrees latitude and 123 degrees longitude.” “You must be an architect,” says the balloonist. “I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s of no use to anyone.” The man below says, “You must be a contractor.” “I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?” “Well,” says the man, “you are totally lost, have no idea how to proceed, you made a promise you cannot keep, but you expect me to be able to help. I answer your question in detail, you’re still lost, but now it’s my fault!”
24. What do you call an architect without a job?
A draftsman.
25. Why did the architect cross the road?
To get to the other side of the blueprint.
26. Did you hear about the architect who was arguing with a construction worker?
They were getting bogged down in cementics.
27. Why was the architect always calm during a storm?
Because he knew how to “weatherproof” his emotions!
Even More Architect Jokes for a Good Time
We hope that you are enjoying these funny jokes and puns about architects. Here are more that you will enjoy.
28. How often do architects have to put long narrow paths in his blueprints?
Hallways
29. How do you know if an architect is good at his job?
He can draw a straight line between two dots.
30. What do you call an architect who can’t design a building?
A manager.
31. Why did the Egyptian architect go to jail?
Because he was caught planning a pyramid scheme.
32. A Physicist, an engineer and an architect are sitting in a taxi. …The engineer says: What makes it drive? The physicist says: Why does it drive ? The architect says: Your fare will be 17.45$.
33. How do Church architects make sure they’re building the church properly?
They check the Cross section.
34. What happened to the architect who wasn’t sure what to build the walls of a house out of?
He was stucco
35. What did the Architect say to the girl at the bar?
Hey girl, we might be wrong. But it feels so Frank Lloyd Wright!
36. Did you hear about the retired earthquake expert who began a new career as a consultant specializing in large shopping centers?
He is now a size-mall-ogist.
37. Why did the architect get fired for his library design?
Because it only had one Story.
38. Did you hear about the architect who had an unhealthy obsession with designing intricate shopping malls?
He had a complex complex complex.
39. Did you hear about the architect who only had aluminum sheets for stationary?
His plans were foiled.
40. What’s the difference between an Architect and an Engineer?
If architects built all the buildings, they would fall down on their own. If engineers built all the buildings, they’d be so ugly, we’d tear them all down.
We hope that you’ve enjoyed these funny architect jokes. You may also enjoy these funny plumber jokes and beekeeper jokes as well.