Airplane jokes are great whether you have a fear of flying or not. They can help to pass the time while you are waiting for the plane to depart at the airport, or even to share while you are en route to your destination.
Did you know that commercial airplanes are pressurized to ensure passenger comfort and safety at high altitudes? You can also relieve the pressure of air travel with these funny airplane jokes and puns.
Funny Airplane Jokes for a High Time
1. What has a nose and flies, but can’t smell?
An airplane!
2.I hate jokes about airplanes
All they do is fly over my head
3. Did you know that the propellers on small planes are actually used to keep the pilot cool?
When it stops spinning, you can see the pilot start to sweat.
4. Where are the Great Plains located?
At the great airports.
5. Why did the man bring clock on the plane?
Because he wanted to see how time flies.
6. What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly?
Stationary.
7. Whadda ya get when you cross an accountant with a giant jet airplane?
A Boring 747.
8. As the plane took off, the pilot turned to the co-pilot and said, “Have you ever flown solo?”
Co-pilot: No. Typically I fly much higher than this.
9. I recently wrote a sitcom about airplanes.
The pilot was terrible.
10. I recently wrote a sitcom about airplanes.
It never took off.
11. Who invented the first airplane that wouldn’t fly?
The Wrong Brothers.
12. What’s the difference between an airplane and your ex?
The airplane carries less baggage.
13. How do you call the Swiss presidential plane?
Tobler One.
14. What’s the deal with food that airlines serve?
It’s always so plane
15. I threw my phone from the roof, and it broke.
I guess airplane mode wasn’t working.
16. How often do airplanes crash?
Just once.
17. Why doesn’t a vulture eat the in-flight airline meal on a plane?
Because it eats its carrion.
18. Leave a man on a plane and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane and he flies for the rest of his life.
19. A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, “How long does it take to fly to Boston?”
The clerk said, “Just a minute…” “Thank you,” the man said and hung up.
20. I have a really good airplane joke I want to share…
But I think it might go over your head.
21. Did you know that pencils can be really sharp, but they are still allowed on planes?
That’s because they needed to draw the line somewhere.
22. When Chuck Norris walks through airport security…
He makes them take off their shoes.
23. It was mealtime on an airplane, and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner.
“What are my choices?” the passenger asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.
24. What do airplane builders say about their job?
“It’s riveting.”
25. Did you hear about the bunch of jokes about airplane crashes?
They never landed well.
26. I have this new idea for an airplane,
But I don’t think it’s gonna fly.
27. What do you call an airplane that flies backward?
A receding airline.
28. A passenger, in panic, asked if the airplane was going the right way.
To which Yoda responded, “Off course, we are.”
29. Why was the plane grumpy?
He had a bad altitude.
30. Two pilots are discussing piloting. One asks, “Why did you become a pilot?” One asks, “Why did you become a pilot?”
He responds, “To overcome my fears.” The other asks, “Which one? Heights?” To which he responds, “Dying alone.”
31. What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?
An optimist created the airplane; a pessimist created the seatbelts.
32. Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, “Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, send one to Miami.”
She said, “We can’t do that!” I told her, “You did it last week!”
33. What did the airplane yells at his rebellious son for being rude?
“Watch that altitude, young man.”
34. Why do Stormtroopers make the best pilots?
Because they never hit anything.
35. A vulture walks into an airplane with a rotting corpse.
The flight attendant screams, “You cannot bring that on this plane.” The vulture says, “It’s just my carrion.”
36. What did the kamikaze pilot tell his students?
I’m only going to demonstrate this once.
37.Did you know, I used to own a airplane company?
We sold planes with no wings, but it never really took off.
38. Why is development in airplane engineering so slow?
Everyone is afraid to make a groundbreaking design.
39. My son saw an airplane in the sky, and he asked me what it was doing.
I said it was running air.
40. What do you call a flying primate?
A hot air baboon.
Funny Airplane Jokes and Puns
Air travel has really taken off. It has come a long way since the first powered flight by the Wright Brothers back in 1903. What has also come a long way are these funny airplane jokes and puns!
41. A plane crashed, and every single person died, except two. Why?
Because they were a couple.
42.What do you call the movie where pilots fight to take off?
The Hanger Games.
43.I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
44. A plane lands, and shortly after, the flight attendant comes over the speaker.
“Hi, folks! Sorry about that rough landing. It wasn’t the captain’s fault. It definitely wasn’t my fault… It was the asphalt.”
45. A passenger, in panic, asked if the airplane was going the right way
To which Yoda responded, “off course, we are.”
46. I asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of a crying baby next to me.
It turns out you can’t do that if the baby is yours.
47. What did the Klingon say to the flight attendant?
“Today is a good day to fly.”
48. I decided to leave work an hour early today.
The flight attendants started freaking out when I grabbed my parachute, though.
49. What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
“Put me in coach.”
50. What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A “plane in the neck.”
51. A man walks up to the counter at the airport.
“Can I help you?” asks the agent. “I want a roundtrip ticket,” says the man. “Where to?” asks the agent. “Right back to here,” he replies.
52. I tried to carry my board game onto the airplane, but security said I couldn’t do it.
The risk was too big.
53. Why did the students study in the airplane?
Because they wanted higher grades.
54. Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
Kitty-hawk.
55. Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
Because it was overbooked.
56. What do you call a plane that can’t take off?
An error plane.
57.How do rabbits travel?
By hare-oplane!
58. What sound did the 777 airplane make when it started bouncing up and down?
Boeing boeing boeing.
59. What is a fleet of helicopters called?
Hellacopters.
60. What is one thing that a pilot should not say in a job interview?
I’m down-to-earth.
61. Yesterday, I saw a police officer wearing a pilot’s uniform.
I thought it was a bit odd. Then I realized he was one of those plane clothes cops.
62. What if a dog flew the first airplane?
Well, it just wouldn’t be Wright.
63. Why couldn’t the fighter jet pilot communicate with his co-pilot?
He hadn’t broken the sound barrier yet.
64.. Where does a mountain climber keep his plane?
In a cliff-hangar.
65. Why do people take an instant dislike to flight attendants?
To save time later.
66. Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can’t see them taking off.
67. What is the difference between God and an airline pilot?
God doesn’t think he’s an airline pilot.
68. Why did the airplane get sent to his room?
Bad altitude.
69. Why do flight attendants make great astronauts?
They know how to take up space.
70. Have you heard of the TV show about the airplane?
It sorta crashed and burned, but I think it’s because the pilot wasn’t very good.
71. What do you call a space pilot who lives dangerously?
Han YOLO.
72. What do you call it when you’re sick of being in the airport?
Terminal illness.
73. What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician?
A flying sorcerer.
74. What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate.
75. Why can’t spiders become pilots?
Because they only know how to tailspin
76. Where can you find Tom Cruise on a flight?
In Risky Business.
77. My friend started a business selling helicopters.
It’s really starting to take off.
78. I’m a helicopter instructor.
It has its ups and downs.
79. What is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s preferred seating in airplanes?
Aisle B, back
80. Do you know how the French came up with the word for helicopter?
Hey, Look Up There!
Even More Airplane Jokes That You Can Laugh At
We have even more funny airplane jokes to tickle your funny bone! Relax and have a laugh at some of the hilarious airplane jokes!
81. How does Cupid visit his girlfriend?
On an arrow-plane!
82. What’s the deal with airline food?
This is not a joke. I think it’s really plane.
83. The airline food made me sick on my way to Germany.
It was the wurst.
84. I’ve never been in a plane before, so I never knew what the deal with airline food was.
Does that mean the joke went over my head?
85. What do you do with wood after you cut and split it?
Pi-lot.
86. What do you call Harry Potter on a plane?
The flying sorcerer.
87. What do you get if you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing Constrictor.
88. Did you hear about the young pilot who flew through a rainbow during his pilot’s exam?
He passed with flying colors.
89. A teacher was arrested on an airplane after his bag was searched. Police found a protractor, a ruler, a calculator, and a book of graph paper.
They arrested him with possessing implements of math instruction.
90. The attendant at the Delta Airlines check-in desk said, “Window or Aisle?”
I replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
91. A propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane to keep the pilot cool…
When it stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating.
92. When Chuck Norris was five, he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
93. I bought a book called How to Travel.
It’s written by Anna Plane.
94 I really wanted to build an airplane,
But the idea never really took off.
95. Who invented the paper airplane?
The Write Brothers.
96. An ant falls out of an airplane, how did it die?
Starved to death on the way down.
97. Turbo prop planes are atheists, but jets are religious.
Why? Because Jetspray.
98. What’s the difference between an airplane and a baby?
An airplane goes from city to city, a baby goes from tiddy to tiddy.
99. A guy in a plane stood up and shouted, “HIJACK!” and all passengers got scared.
From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, “HI JOHN!”
100. As I sat in my airplane seat for the 16-hour flight, I tried to get comfortable.
Then I remembered that I was in economy.
101. I don’t find airplane jokes funny.
To me, they’re just really Boeing
102. Why did the airplane get sent to his room?
He had a bad altitude.
103. What has a nose and flies but can’t smell?
An airplane.
104. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up!
105. My grandpa destroyed 12 German planes during WW2.
He was, without a doubt, the worst mechanic in the history of Luftwaffe
106. Why do they have frosted glass on airplane toilet windows?
Who knows — it’s not like anyone’s going to look in at 30,000 feet.
107. One airplane to another: “Where should we go on vacation?”
The other airplane: “I dunno. Let’s wing it!”
108. Why won’t a Redbull travel by airplane?
It already has wings.
109. What does a person who dislikes airplane food say when he’s served with chicken steak?
“Let’s hope for the breast!”
110. What’s another name for the movie Snakes on a Plane?
The Boeing Constrictor.
111. What did the airline passenger say to the check-in clerk?
“If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?”
112. What happens to a bad airplane joke?
It never lands.
We hope that you have enjoyed this fleet of airplane jokes. If you have, we are sure that you will also appreciate these car jokes and these firefighter jokes too!