Just looking at bagpipes can already make your laugh. In the arms of an unexperienced person, a bagpipe looks like an octopus trying to let off air. If you would love a laugh, you will be able to appreciate these funny and hilarious bagpipe jokes. They are sure to get a noise out of you!
Let’s get into these funny and also punny bagpipe jokes! Ready for a laughing good time? Here we go!
Funny Bagpipe Jokes for a Good Laugh
Whats the difference between an onion and a bagpipe?
Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.
What is the best way to tune a bagpipe?
With a pitchfork!
Why do bagpipers always walk while playing the bagpipes?
Because they are trying to get away from all the noise.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30 am this morning. Can you believe that, 2.30 am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
Why do they play bagpipes at funerals?
Because no living person wants to hear them.
The Irish invented whiskey and bagpipes.
They forgot to tell the Scots that the latter was a joke.
More Funny Bagpipe Jokes
Bagpipe jokes are more than just hot air. In fact, they are a good way for a bagpiper to get a laugh. At least it will stop people from running away from the bagpipes! Lets drone on with these hilarious bagpipe jokes.
Why should you never run with a bagpipe?
Because you may get kilt.
A bagpiper, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar.
Everybody leaves.
What is the definition of a true gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes but doesn’t.
Why do pipers march while they play?
Because a moving target is harder to hit.
Even More of the Best Bagpipe Jokes
We hope that you are enjoying these funny bagpipe jokes. Ready for more? Here are some more hilarious bagpipe jokes.
Did you hear about the man whose neighbours loved his 4 am bagpipe practice?
They even threw bricks through the window so they can hear the bagpipes better!
What’s the difference between a bagpipe and a lawn mower?
You can tune the lawn mower.
What’s the difference between a bagpipe and a lawn mower?
People get upset when someone borrows a lawn mower and doesn’t return it.
An English spy, a Scottish spy and an Irish spy are captured by the Nazis. The Nazis ask if they have any last wishes. The Irishman says “I want the Irish national anthem to be played before I die”.The Scottish man says “I want the Scottish anthem to be played on bagpipes before I die.”
The Englishman says “I wanna die first”
Did you hear about the man who starting hearing bagpipes in the back of his head?
The doctors think that he has Scotsophrenia.
How do you get two pipers in tune with each other?
Fire one of them.
What’s the difference between beginner and expert bagpipers?
Nothing.
How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.
What’s the difference between a cat in the road and a bagpipe in the road?
People usually swerve to avoid the cat.
What does a bagpiper where under his kilt?
Shoes and socks.
Why did the bagpiper get mad at the drummer?
Drummer moved a drone pipe and wouldn’t tell which one.
What’s the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
Eventually, people will get tired of jumping on a trampoline.
My girlfriend is like a bagpipe
When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises.
A shifty looking guy in a kilt walks into a London pub. He orders a pint and very very carefully puts down the plastic bag he is carrying. The bartender asks “What’s that?” The guy answers,”It is explosives.”
“Thank goodness for that” says the barman, “I thought it might be bagpipes.”
Why did the man request for bagpipes to be played at his funeral?
So that he would not have to listen to them.
How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
Someone is blowing into it.
How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
He can throw a set of pipes into the middle of a trash bin in one try.
Why should you not run with bagpipes?
Because you might put your aye out.
What do arrogant bagpipers eat?
Braggis.
A piper finished a long, hot parade and went to the pub to quench his terrible thirst. He hadn’t been there long when he suddenly realized that, although he’d locked his car, he’d left his pipes in plain view on the seat. He rushed back to the car, but was too late.
The car window was broken, and there were three more sets of pipes on the back seat.
Why did the bagpiper attend the school for plumbers?
Because he wanted to know the ins and outs of piping.
How many bagpipers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5. One to do it, and four to criticise his fingering style.
What do bagpipers like to eat as a snack?
Gaelic bread.
Why are a piper’s fingers like lightening?
They rarely hit the same spot twice.
If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune
bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two are figments of your imagination.
If you enjoyed this bagpipe jokes, we think that you will also enjoy these funny bass jokes.