Being in the military isn’t just about marching, saluting, or even field exercises—sometimes it’s about cracking a good joke during those long shifts. From basic training to military strategy, soldiers have a unique sense of humor that can keep morale high. Whether it’s a funny take on the daily grind or a playful jab at military life, these jokes are a great way to lighten the mood. From witty punchlines about military gear to jokes about training mishaps, this collection offers something for every soldier or military enthusiast.
40 Hilarious Soldier Jokes to Boost Your Spirits
1. Why does the military plant trees every year?
To grow the infant-tree.
2. What’s the easiest way to get to be a five-star general?
Great reviews on Yelp.
3. What do you call a shipment full of military-issued T. Rexes?
Small arms.
4. Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time?
To see 20:20.
5. Why didn’t the officer respond when asked how he got his start in the military?
It was private.
6. What do you call a soldier who loves to hang out?
Company commander.
7. When is the only time to use trench warfare?
As a last-ditch effort.
8. What form is required for all members of the military?
A uniform.
9. Why was the sergeant mad when his son brought home a 100 on a math test?
The kid spent more time dividing than conquering.
10. Did you hear about the accident on base?
A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two kernels.
11. What happened when the ice cream cone and cheesecake abandoned their fellow soldiers?
They were wanted for dessert-ion.
12. What do soldiers want to know before getting married?
The rules of engagement.
13. How are mathematicians like the Air Force?
Both use pi-lots.
14. Who won the zombie war?
Nobody. It was dead even.
15. When is the only time a plane has too much fuel?
When it’s on fire.
16. What rank are all cats in the army?
Corpurrrrrral.
17. Why is the Army so strict about uniforms?
To minimize casual tees.
18. Why aren’t army soldiers super cool?
Because they all go through basic training.
19. What do you call a soldier who loves to paint?
An art-illery master.
20. Why do Twitter users make bad soldiers?
They are too quick to retweet.
21. What do you call a high-ranking officer who’s chatty?
General Discussion.
22. Who’s the highest-ranking officer in the mess hall?
General Tso.
23. What do you get when you drop a piano on an Army officer?
A-flat Major.
24. What is a soldier’s least-favorite date?
March 4th.
25. Where do rabbits learn to fly?
The hare force.
26. What do you call a drunk Marine?
A barhead.
27. What is ARMY an acronym for?
A Recruiter Misled You.
28. What does a real Army soldier have in common with a little green Army toy?
They’ll both hurt you if you step on them.
29. What always has the right of way on the battlefield?
Incoming fire.
30. Why did the Army veteran become a dentist?
He had experience as a drill sergeant.
31. What do you call an aircraft full of cattle?
Total bull ship.
32. Why does the Navy prefer recruits who can’t swim?
Because they’re more motivated to defend their ship.
33. How can you tell the difference between a Marine and a marine mammal?
About six minutes underwater.
34. Why did the man join the Navy out of spite?
Because he was a petty officer.
35. Why does the Navy want to recruit more women?
To keep the ocean from being a total buoys club.
36. What military branch is fond of horses?
The Neigh-vy.
37. Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
The captain was sitting on the deck.
38. What grades do you need to join the Navy?
Seven Cs.
39. What’s the difference between a Navy air crewman and an otter?
The otter knows he’s not a seal.
40. Whenever a soldier goes to the bathroom, their rank changes to loo-tenant.