Bassoon jokes can be great fun to share with other musicians in the orchestra. Just like the oboe, the bassoon is a double reed instrument. Furthermore, it is one of the one of the largest woodwind instruments, typically measuring around 4.5 feet in length. It is no wonder that many other musicians look at it and think that it looks funny.
Here are some funny bassoon jokes that players will be able to appreciate for a good laugh.
Funny Bassoon Jokes
1. When do you want the bassoon player to stop playing?
Bassoon as possible.
2.What do you call a bassoon player who plays too early?
Bass-too-soon.
3. What do you call a bassoon player who plays late?
Bass-late.
4. What’s the difference between a bassoon and a lawn mower?
The neighbors get upset if you borrow a lawn mower and don’t return it.
5. What’s the difference between a missile and a bad bassoon player?
A bad bassoon player can kill you.
6. What’s the difference between a bassoon and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
7. Why is the bassoon a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
8. What do you call two bassoon players playing in unison?
Counterpoint.
9. How do you keep your jewelry from being stolen?
Leave it in a bassoon case.
10. There’s nothing I like better than the sound of a bassoon.
Unless of course it’s the sound of a duck caught in a vacuum cleaner.
11. When is a bassoon a good bassoon?
When it’s down a toilet.
12. What do you call ten bassoons at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
13. How do you get the bassoon player off your porch?
Pay for your pizza.
14. Why are bassoon jokes so short?
So that bassoon players can understand them.
15. What’s the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
16. Why do bassoon players leave their cases on the dashboard?
So that they can park in handicap spaces.
17. What do you call a cow that plays the bassoon?
A moo-sician.
18. How do you get a million dollars playing the bassoon?
Start off with 2 million.
19. What’s the difference between a bassoon and an onion?
You don’t cry when you’re cutting up the bassoon.
More Funny Bassoon Jokes & Puns
Did you know that the bassoon is often called the “clown of the orchestra” due to its unique, sometimes comical sound, which is used to great effect in both classical and modern compositions. It is no wonder that there are so many bassoon jokes out there!
20. How do bassoon players traditionally greet each other?
“Hi. I played that last year.”
21. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
22. Bassoon player: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
23. What is the best use for a bassoon?
Kindling.
24. What’s the difference between a bassoon player and a psychiatric ward patient?
Nothing. The bassoon player just hasn’t been caught yet.
25. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A bassoon player.
26. Did you hear about the musician who made a bassoon out of corn.
He said he could play anything by ear.
27. What does a bassoon and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
28. What do you throw a drowning bassoon player?
His case.
29. How do you improve the aerodynamics of a bassoon player’s car?
Take the pizza sign off the roof.
30. What is the dynamic range of the bassoon?
On or off.
31. Define an honorable gentleman.
Someone who owns a bassoon but refuses to play it.
32. What does a bassoon and a baseball have in common?
People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
33. A young child told his mother “When I grow up I’m going to be an bassoon player.”
His mother responded “Well honey, you know you can’t do both.”
34. What’s the difference between a bassoon road kill and raccoon road kill?
The skid marks in front of the raccoon!
35. What’s the first thing a bassoon player says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
36. What’s the range of a bassoon?
Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm!
37.Marriage is like playing the bassoon.
It looks easy until you try it.
38. How do you get two bassoon players to play in unison?
Fire one.
39. How do you know when a bassoon player is at your door?
The doorbell shrieks!
Even More of the Best Bassoon Jokes
Bassoon players are also called bassoonists. There is also a bassoon that is even larger than a regular bassoon – the contrabassoon. That looks even more amusing than a regular bassoon. It is funny how there aren’t more bassoon jokes about the contrabassoon.
40. What kind of calendar does a bassoon player use for his gigs?
“Year-At-A-Glance.”
41. Why is a bassoon better than a recorder?
Because it burns longer.
42.What’s the best thing to play on a bassoon?
Solitaire.
43.In what way is a family reunion and a bassoon solo similar?
You know they are both coming and there is not a darn thing you can do about it!!
44. What’s the difference between a high-school bassoon section and a lawnmower engine?
With enough time and work, you can eventually get the lawnmower engine in tune.
45. What do you call perfect pitch in a bassoon?
When it enters into the dumpster without hitting the side.
46. How many bassoon players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but the rest of the section will talk about how they could do it higher and faster.
47. What’s the definition of an optimist?
A bassoon player with a mortgage.
48. What’s the difference between a bassoon and the exhaust of a car?
I don’t know either.
49. What does a gig opportunity for a bassoon player have in common with Christmas?
They both only come once a year.
50. What’s the difference between bassoon players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
51. How many bassoon players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but they have to try at least twenty to find the right one.
52. What is the definition of a minor second?
Two bassoons playing in unison.
53. Why was the bassoon player arrested?
He was in treble.
54. What did the bassoon player get on his IQ test?
Drool.
55. How do you get a bassoon player to play A flat?
Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.
56. Why should bassoon players only get 10 minute breaks?
Because they will forget how to read notes and it will take too long to reteach them.
57.Did you hear about the book on bassoons?
It’s a light reed.
58. Where do bassoon players go on the internet?
Reedit.
59. What is the best place on the internet to find information about bassoons?
Wikireedia.
60. An orchestra conductor calls 911. “Help! My bassoon player swallowed his reed! What do I do?”
The 911 operator says “Simple. Have an oboe cover the part.”
We hope that you have enjoyed these funny bassoon jokes. If you have, we think that you will also appreciate these musician jokes.