Oboe jokes are a great way to poke fun at oboists or oboe players. The double reed instrument produces sound when air is blown through the two reeds bound together. While this gives the oboe its distinct, rich, and penetrating sound, some would also call it piercing.
If you are an oboe player or sit next to one in the orchestra, perhaps these funny oboe jokes may be just what you need to get your mind off the sound of the oboe.
Funny Oboe Jokes
1. How do you get a million dollars playing the oboe?
Start off with 2 million.
2.What’s the difference between an oboe and an onion?
You don’t cry when you’re cutting up the oboe.
3. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the oboe recital.
4. Oboe player: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
5. What is the best use for an oboe?
Kindling.
6. What’s the difference between an oboe and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
7. Why is the oboe a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
8. What’s the difference between an oboe and a lawn mower?
The neighbors get upset if you borrow a lawn mower and don’t return it.
9. What’s the difference between a missile and a bad oboe player?
A bad oboe player can kill you.
10. Why do oboe players leave their cases on the dashboard?
So they can park in handicap spaces.
11. What do you call a cow that plays the oboe?
A moo-sician.
12. What do you call two oboe players playing in unison?
Counterpoint.
13. How do you keep your jewelry from being stolen?
Leave it in an oboe case.
14. There’s nothing I like better than the sound of an oboe.
Unless of course it’s the sound of a chicken caught in a vacuum cleaner.
15. What’s the difference between an oboe player and a psychiatric ward patient?
Nothing. The oboe player just hasn’t been caught yet.
More Hilarious Oboe Jokes
Did you know that many oboe players craft their own reeds? It is a skill that requires some precision and practice – not dissimilar from telling funny oboe jokes too!
16. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
An oboe player.
17. When is an oboe a good oboe?
When it’s down a toilet.
18. What’s the range of an oboe?
Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm!
19. Marriage is like playing the oboe.
It looks easy until you try it.
20. What kind of calendar does an oboe player use for his gigs?
“Year-At-A-Glance.”
21. Why is an oboe better than a recorder?
Because it burns longer.
22. What’s the best thing to play on an oboe?
Solitaire.
23. What’s the definition of an optimist?
An oboe with a mortgage.
24. What’s the difference between an oboe and the exhaust of a car?
I don’t know either.
25. What does a gig opportunity for an oboe player have in common with Christmas?
They both only come once a year.
26. What’s the difference between oboe players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
27. How many oboe players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but they have to try at least twenty to find the right one.
28. What is the definition of a minor second?
Two oboes playing in unison.
29. Why was the oboe player arrested?
He was in treble.
30. What did the oboe player get on his IQ test?
Drool.
Even More Oboe Jokes That Oboists Can Laugh At
Oboe players should not take themselves too seriously. That’s why it is good to have a laugh with these funny oboe jokes once in a while. Pull them up at practice and have a good laugh with them.
31. How do you get an oboe player to play A flat?
Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.
32. In what way is a family reunion and an oboe solo similar?
You know they are both coming and there is not a darn thing you can do about it!!
33. What’s the difference between a high-school oboe section and a lawnmower engine?
With enough time and work, you can eventually get the lawnmower engine in tune.
34. What do you call perfect pitch in an oboe?
When it enters into the dumpster without hitting the side.
35. How many oboe players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but the rest of the section will talk about how they could do it higher and faster.
36. What do you call ten oboes at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
37.How do you get the oboe player off your porch?
Pay for your pizza.
38. Why are oboe jokes so short?
So oboe players can understand them.
39. What’s the difference between a oboe and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
40. Did you hear about the musician who made an oboe out of corn.
He said he could play anything by ear.
41. What does an oboe and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
42.What do you throw a drowning oboe player?
Her case.
43.How do you improve the aerodynamics of an oboe player’s car?
Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof.
44. Define an honorable gentleman.
Someone who owns an oboe but refuses to play it.
45. What does a oboe and a baseball have in common?
People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
46. A young child told his mother “When I grow up I’m going to be an oboe player.”
His mother responded “Well honey, you know you can’t do both.”
47. What’s the difference between an oboe road kill and raccoon road kill?
The skid marks in front of the raccoon!
48. What’s the first thing an oboe player says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
49. Why should oboe players not get any breaks?
Because they will forget how to read notes and it will take too long to reteach them.
50. A guy walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I haven’t had a bowel movement in a week!” The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, “If it doesn’t work, let me know.” A week later the guy is back: “Doc, still no movement!” The doctor says, “Hmm, guess you need something stronger,” and prescribes a powerful laxative. Still another week later the poor guy is back: “Doc, STILL nothing!” The doctor, worried, says, “We’d better get some more information about you to try to figure out what’s going on. What do you do for a living?” “I’m a musician, I play the oboe.”
The doctor looks up and says, “Well, that’s it! Here’s $10.00. Go get something to eat!”
51. Did you hear about the book on oboes?
It’s a light reed.
52. Where do oboe players go on the internet?
Reedit.
53. What is the best place on the internet to find information about oboes?
Wikireedia.
54. An orchestra conductor calls 911. “Help! My oboe player swallowed his reed! What do I do?”
The 911 operator says “Simple. Have a muted trumpet cover the part.”
If you enjoyed these oboe jokes, we think that you will also enjoy these funny bass player jokes and other musician jokes.