There are over 45 different varieties of pumpkins. These range in color from traditional orange to yellow, white, green, and even blue. These are almost as numerous as pumpkin jokes that you can enjoy laughing at. We have an entire patch of pumpkin jokes for you to enjoy wading through here. They are sure to squash out laughter with their silly pumpkin puns.
Funny Pumpkin Jokes That You Can Laugh At
1. Did you hear about the man who won a pumpkin carving contest?
It was a hollow victory.
2.What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
3. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
Pulp fiction.
4. What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy?
A mushy romance.
5. Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school?
Because they had all their brains scooped out.
6. Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
The gourdroom.
7. Why did the pumpkins go to the gym?
They wanted to become jacked-o-lanterns.
8. What did one pumpkin say to the other after the halloween party?
Damn! We got lit last night!
9. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door.
10. What did one Pumpkin say to the other?
“Happy Hollowing!”
11. Where do pumpkins live?
In the seedy part of town.
12. What do surfers say on Halloween?
Gourd vibes only, bro.
13. Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?
He’s a squashbuckling pirate
14. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
“You look a little sick.”
15. Why do jack-o-lanterns sit on people’s porches?
They don’t have the guts to knock on the door.
16. What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?
“Oh my gord!”
17. What do you call an athletic pumpkin?
A jock o’ lantern.
18. Why was the jack-o-lantern so forgetful?
Because he’s empty headed.
19. What’d the farmer say when he accidentally squashed his pumpkin?
Oh my gord.
20. What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern?
A plumpkin.
More of the Best Pumpkin Jokes
Did you know that pumpkins can grow to be incredibly large? And, although often considered a vegetable, pumpkins are technically a fruit because they develop from the flower of the plant and contain seeds. Just the seed of an idea can lead to something fun and interesting, like these incredibly funny pumpkin jokes.
21. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?
On vine-yl.
22. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?
The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.
23. Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful?
Because he’s empty-headed.
24. What did the queasy pumpkin say?
“I don’t feel so gourd.”
25. Did you know that pumpkins are the most beautiful crop?
They’re absolutely gourd-geous.
26. How does a pumpkin listen to music?
On vine-yl.
27. Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?
A candle makes them bright.
28. What instrument does a pumpkin play?
An a-gourd-ian.
29. How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking?
The pumpkin patch.
30. Where do pumpkins hold meetings?
The gourdroom
31. What did the pumpkins say at happy hour?
“Let’s get smashed.”
32. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash.
33. A pumpkin athlete was feeling unmotivated before the big game. His coach could sense that and so the coach came over to the pumpkin to give him a pep talk. What did the coach say?
Gourd big or go home.
34. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash.
35. What do you call a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
36. What’s black, white, orange, and waddles?
A penguin carrying a pumpkin.
37.What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?
Cut it out.
38. What are gourds afraid of?
Things that go pumpkin the night.
39. What did the boy pumpkin say to the girl pumpkin?
I only have pies for you.
40. Where do pumpkins like to live?
In the seedy part of town.
Even More Pumpkin Jokes for Fun and Laughter
While pumpkin pie is a popular dish, pumpkins are also used in soups, breads, and even beverages like pumpkin spice lattes. Pumpkin jokes may also often play on this culinary aspect of pumpkins – most often about pumpkin pies. Pumpkins also have a long association with Halloween and you will also find many jokes and puns about pumpkins riffing off their Halloween connections.
41. What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun?
Go bungee gourd jumping.
42.What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.
43.What do you call a man wearing a pumpkin hat?
Gourdon
44. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
A life-gourd.
45. Why did the pumpkin delegates at the pumpkin convention give a standing ovation to the conference speaker?
Because his message struck a gourd with them.
46. What did the pumpkin say to encourage his friend?
Be of gourd cheer.
47. How do pumpkins say goodbye to each other at the end of the day?
Patch you later!
48. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch
49. Why did everyone think the jack-o-lantern was evil?
It had a wicked candle inside it.
50. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
Pulp fiction.
51. What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?
Gourd to death
52. A piece of pumpkin pie costs $2.00 in Jamaica and $2.45 in Barbados.
These are the pie rates of the Carribean.
53. Why was the gourd so gossip-y?
To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
54. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
“Use apples, instead.”
55. When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say?
“I’m vine, thanks!”
56. What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
You’ll get autumn’y ache.
57.Why was Cinderella bad at football?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
58. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely?
The crossing gourd.
59. Did you hear about the pumpkin who played basketball?
He was a point gourd.
60. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?
“Good-pie, everyone.”
61. How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern?
Use a pumpkin patch.
62. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?
“Cut it out.”
63. A pumpkin and her husband go out for a special dinner date. They meet each other after work at a table within the restaurant. Wife: “How do I look?”
Husband: “Gourdgeous as ever dear.”
We hope that you have enjoyed these funny pumpkin jokes. Do check out the funny ghost jokes and baker jokes too!