Whether you’re in the salon chair or behind the scissors, everyone loves a good hair joke! From puns about bad hair days to witty one-liners only stylists will appreciate, these 80 hairdresser jokes will have you laughing all the way to your next trim. Get ready for some hair-larious humour—because a little laughter is the best treatment for any style mishap!
- My teenage daughter can’t decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer…
I guess she’ll have to flip a coin…
Heads or Tales. - What’s another name for a hairdresser?
A locksmith. - I told my hairdresser to make me look sexy.
She put down the hair clippers and started drinking. - I have come to realise how bad hairdressers are to have as friends.
They are always talking about you behind your back. - My hairdresser friend has started breeding dogs.
He calls them shampoodles. - Hairdresser: Would you like a haircut?
Boy: No, I’d like them all cut. - Who’s a hairdresser’s favourite musical artist?
Harry Styles. - A rabbit goes into a hairdresser looking for his friend…
But leaves disappointed as, surprisingly, there isn’t a hare to be seen. - There are a lot of good things about having a mum who’s a hairdresser.
Getting my hair dyed at home, for example.
That’s a personal highlight. - I tried being a hairdresser, but I was terrible at it.
So I opened a cap store outside too. - Today my hairdresser gave me a bad haircut…
But I think it’s growing on me. - I told my hairdresser a joke.
She dyed laughing. - I’m gonna have to find a new hairdresser…
Because I’m sick of this one talking behind my back. - How can you tell you need a new hairdresser?
The pile of swept-up ears in the corner. - I walked into the hairdressers and sat down in the chair.
On the wall, there was a sign that said: “£70 for a haircut.”
I gulped.
The woman assessed my hair and said, “Hello, sir. How much would you like off?”
I said, “About £55.” - My hairdresser asked me how I wanted my hair cut.
Me: Anything that will make me look good.
Hairdresser: Oh uhm… awkward silence I can try. - A gypsy fortune-teller once told me:
“For 20 euros I can see your life in the palm of your hand.”
I replied: “That’s a robbery! My mother goes to the hairdresser in my neighbourhood, and for 10 euros, she tells her everyone’s life.” - What do you call a bunch of hairdressers having a party?
A Barber-cue. - The hairdresser was washing my hair, she said, “Do you want any conditioner?”
I said, “Extra volume?” and she said, “DO YOU WANT ANY CONDITIONER?!” - . How do hairdressers like their coffee?
With lots of cream and highlight. - Why are hairdressers never late for work?
They know all of the short cuts! - There once was a tall hairdresser…
He worked in the business for years upon years, having to bend over every day to get a good view of his work. After over 40 years of working in the business, he decides that he will begin to offer free haircuts on one condition.
It’s only for his longest standing patrons. - My friend likes watching football matches when he’s at the hairdresser’s.
The coverage is quite similar, but the highlights are better. - She saw an advert saying, “Hairpieces for $5.”
“That is a small price toupee,” she thought. - How did the first man on the moon cut his hair?
He eclipsed it. - I used to hate my hair.
Then it grew on me. - What do you call a hairdresser who is also a therapist?
A shearapist. - Why are hairdressers good at geometry?
They always know the angles. - I went into the barber’s shop yesterday and noticed he had dirty hands.
He told me, “I cannot help it. No one has come for a shampoo today.” - My friend inherited a comb after he went bald.
He said he will never part with it. - There’s a guy who put a rabbit on his head.
He wanted a head of hare. - My friend does not use keys.
She lost her locks. - Why do hairdressers make great detectives?
They uncover the root of the problem. - What do you call a group of hairdressers?
A styling crew. -
Why do hairdressers always carry a pencil?
For drawing a part. -
Why don’t hairdressers like rainy days?
It frizzes up their plans. -
How do hairdressers talk to each other?
They comb-unicate. -
What is a hairdresser’s favorite car?
A Coupe. - What’s a hairdresser’s favorite song?
“Hair we go again.” - A local hairdresser was jailed for 10 years because of drug dealing.
I have been going to this guy for the longest time and I never knew he was a hairdresser. - The Jamaican man stormed into the hairdressers and demanded a new style.
The barber was dreading it. - . What do hairdressers and reporters have in common?
They both love a good scoop. - What’s a hairdresser’s favorite dessert?
A meringue – it has such a good whip! -
Why are hairdressers bad at hide and seek?
They always snip and tell. - Who was the hairdresser’s favorite music artist?
Harry Styles. - What is common between a hairdresser and a thief?
They both cut locks. - Why do hairdressers make great farmers?
They’re used to crop management. - What does a hairdresser do at a baseball game?
Roots for the home team. - Why was the quarterback called a hairdresser by his coach?
Because he missed the split end on a curl. - Why did the hairdresser bring a ladder to work?
He wanted to take hair styling to
new heights. - The man went into the barbershop to get his haircut.
“You are going gray, sir,” says the barber.
The man replies, “I am not surprised. Now hurry up, would you?” - How did the hairdresser come first in the race?
She took a shortcut. - What’s the name of a good hair stylist?
A shear delight. - My friend has been searching for a decent barber ever since the hairdressers opened again.
He’s looking for one that is a real cut above the rest. - The hairdresser does not cut her hair any longer.
She cuts it shorter instead. - I visited the hairdressers only to find people getting their heads shaved off with giant pruning scissors.
It was shear barbarism. - What’s the name of a bad hairdresser who happens to be expensive?
A rip-off. - What is the name of a hairdresser with a penchant for opera?
The Barber of Saville. - The hairdresser had me sign a legal document the other day.
At first, I was confused, but then she told me it was for perms and conditions. - My girlfriend came back home from the hairdresser’s. She asked me how she looked and was upset with the response I gave.
She yelled, “So, you are saying I look like a bulldog!!”
I smiled and told her, “No. I never said that. You heard me wrong.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said as she laughed.
I added, “What I said was, you look like a bald hog.”
More Hairdresser Jokes
Whether you’re a stylist, a salon regular, or just someone who loves a good hair pun, these jokes will have you in stitches—without the split ends! Get ready for some hair-larious humour that’s always a cut above the rest.
- Why don’t hairdressers go fishing?
Because they can’t handle all the tangling. - Why did the hairbrush break up with the comb?
It said it’s tired of going through a rough patch. - 5. Why did the hairbrush get kicked out of school?
It couldn’t stop teasing. - Why did the hairdresser become a gardener?
He wanted to give trimming hedges a shot. - Why did the hair dye break up with the hair?
It said, “I can’t color you mine anymore.” - What do you call a hairdresser who’s also a DJ?
A hair-spinning specialist. - How does a hairdresser win a race?
By taking shortcuts. - What is a hairdresser’s favorite planet?
Mars, because of its red color. - Why was the hairdryer getting all the gossip?
It’s known for blowing things out of proportion. - How does a hairdresser say goodbye?
“I’ll curl up and dye without you!” - Why was the hairbrush good at making decisions?
Because it always goes straight through things. - Why don’t hairdressers like onions?
Because they always split ends. - What do you call a hairdresser’s car?
A shear-volet. - Why did the hairbrush get a promotion?
It always went straight to the point. - Why was the hairdryer the worst player in football?
It always blows the game. - What does a hairdresser do when they’re nervous?
They twirl their hair. - Why do hairdressers never lose at poker?
They always know when to cut and run. - What do you call a hairdresser’s pet?
A shearling. - Why did the hairdresser become a referee?
He was excellent at making calls on close shaves. - Why did the comb get an award?
For outstanding comb-tribution to good hair days.