Butchers might work with knives and meat, but they’ve got a great sense of humour too! These 80 butcher jokes are sure to carve their way right into your heart and funny bone. Whether you’re a butcher yourself or just someone who loves a good laugh, these puns and punchlines will have you laughing through the cuts. Get ready for some sharp humour that’ll leave you in stitches!
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Why did the butcher break up with his girlfriend?
Because she just wasn’t his type! -
What do you call a butcher who’s good at math?
A meat-hematician! -
Why did the cow become a butcher?
Because it wanted to be the boss of the steaks! -
What do butchers use to make a decision?
A split-second choice! -
Why don’t butchers ever tell secrets?
Because they can’t keep their chops shut! -
How do butchers greet each other?
With a big “How’s it hanging?” -
What did the butcher say to the pig?
“You’re bacon me crazy!” -
Why did the butcher open a bakery?
Because he kneaded the dough! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite type of music?
Heavy metal! -
Why did the butcher become a comedian?
Because he was great at cutting up jokes! -
What do you call a butcher who’s also a gardener?
A “meat”-her! -
Why did the butcher bring a pencil to work?
Because he needed to draw some cuts! -
What do you call a butcher who’s great at jokes?
A “cut-up” comic! -
How did the butcher stay so sharp?
He always kept his knives in good condition! -
Why do butchers always get invited to parties?
Because they know how to “meat” new people! -
What did the butcher say when asked for a rare steak?
“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a while for that one. It’s a bit on the rare side.” -
What does a butcher do when they’re feeling sad?
They meat their friends for comfort! -
Why was the butcher always calm?
Because he was “steak”-cool under pressure! -
Why did the butcher become a chef?
Because he had a talent for carving up a great meal! -
What did the butcher say when he saw the cow in the field?
“Looks like we’ll be having a beefy conversation soon!” -
What do you call a butcher’s favourite holiday?
Steaksgiving! -
Why do butchers love their jobs?
Because they really know how to “meat” people’s expectations! -
How did the butcher make a living?
He always found himself in a “cutthroat” business! -
What did the butcher say to the customer who wanted the best steak?
“This one’s the top “cut” of the day!” -
What’s a butcher’s favourite board game?
“Chopped”! -
Why did the butcher get a job in a circus?
He was great at “meat”ing the crowd! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite fruit?
The “steak”-berry! -
Why don’t butchers work at night?
Because they don’t like to “meat” in the dark! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite dessert?
A “steak”-cake! -
What do you call a butcher with a sense of humour?
A “cut-up” comedian! -
Why did the butcher go to therapy?
To work through his “beef” with people! -
What do butchers call a great steak?
A “well-done” job! -
Why did the butcher visit the gym?
To work on his “meat”ball! -
What did the butcher say to the tomato?
“You’re ripe for a good slice!” -
What do butchers do for fun?
They like to “meat” up with their friends! -
Why was the butcher’s shop always so tidy?
Because he was a real “neat” freak! -
What’s the butcher’s favourite movie?
“Meat” the Parents! -
Why did the butcher start a band?
Because he wanted to “meat” the beat! -
Why don’t butchers ever get bored?
Because there’s always something to “cut”! -
What do butchers call their holidays?
“Meat”-ing days off! -
Why did the butcher join a choir?
Because he had a “cut” voice! -
What do you call a butcher who loves animals?
A “veggie”-tarian! -
Why did the butcher take up painting?
Because he was great at drawing cuts! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite sport?
“Meat”ball! -
Why do butchers always look happy?
Because they’re always “cut”ting up with laughter! -
What did the butcher say to the chicken?
“You’ve got some “egg”-cellent cuts!” -
Why was the butcher the best at throwing parties?
Because he really knew how to “meat” people’s needs! -
What do you call a butcher who can’t make up their mind?
A “beef” in confusion! -
Why don’t butchers like playing cards?
Because they can’t handle a “cut” of the deck! -
Why did the butcher break his phone?
He couldn’t “meat” his contacts anymore! -
What do you call a butcher who loves fish?
A “steak”-fish lover! -
Why don’t butchers play hide-and-seek?
Because they always get “caught” in the act! -
What do you call a butcher who’s always late?
A “cut” behind schedule! -
Why did the butcher make great art?
He knew how to “cut” the perfect line! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite movie genre?
“Meat” dramas! -
Why do butchers get invited to all the cookouts?
Because they know how to grill a great steak! -
What did the butcher say to the chef?
“Let’s “meat” at the grill!” -
What’s a butcher’s favourite vegetable?
“Meat”-balls! -
Why do butchers always look so sharp?
They keep their knives in tip-top shape! -
What do you call a butcher who’s always tired?
A “beef”-on-the-go! -
Why did the butcher become a poet?
Because he knew how to “cut” to the heart of the matter! -
Why did the butcher win the race?
Because he always “cut” through the competition! -
What do you call a butcher who’s good with animals?
A “meat” lover with a heart! -
Why did the butcher turn into a chef?
Because he was great at “meat”-ing expectations! -
Why did the butcher make a great detective?
Because he always got to the “meat” of the problem! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite type of exercise?
“Steak” squats! -
Why don’t butchers like to tell jokes?
Because their humour is always too “sharp”! -
What do you call a butcher who’s good at telling stories?
A “cut” above the rest! -
What did the butcher say to the sausage?
“You’re the wurst!” -
Why was the butcher a great motivational speaker?
Because he knew how to “cut” to the point! -
What’s the butcher’s favourite way to relax?
A “meat”-ing with friends! -
Why did the butcher become a lifeguard?
Because he was good at “meat”-ing the demands! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite board game?
“Chop”-opoly! -
Why did the butcher open a pet shop?
To “meat” the demand for furry friends! -
Why did the butcher go on vacation?
To “cut” loose for a while! -
What do you call a butcher who loves to sing?
A “meat” singer! -
What’s a butcher’s favourite holiday?
Steaksgiving! -
What do you call a butcher who works in a bakery?
A “cut”-paster! -
Why did the butcher become a gardener?
Because he loved “meat”-ing new plants! -
Why did the butcher keep a collection of meat cleavers?
Because he liked to “cut” down on choices!