Being a cashier means dealing with all sorts of customers, and sometimes, those interactions can be downright funny. From confused shoppers to unexpected comments, cashiers have seen it all. These 40 jokes capture the humor in everyday retail life, offering a lighthearted look at the ups and downs of working the register. If you’ve ever had a strange request or awkward moment while ringing someone up, you’ll definitely relate to these hilarious cashier jokes.
40 Cashier Jokes That’ll Have You Laughing from Receipt to Bag
1. Cashier: That’ll be $19.99. Me: *pulls out a $50*
Cashier: Sorry, we’ve been having problems with counterfeit bills. Got anything smaller?
Me: Sure! *pulls out a $30*
2. A man robbed a bank and demanded gold.
As he fled, the cashier yelled, “AU!”
3. Me: “I’d like to withdraw £50.”
Cashier: “Want to check your balance?”
Me: *stands on one leg and falls*
4. I tried to buy that little divider at the grocery store.
But the cashier kept putting it back.
5. I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
6. A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks: “Is this gluten free?”
Cashier: “No. It costs $4.50.”
7. Cashier: “Would you like your milk in a bag?”
Me: “No thanks, just leave it in the jug.”
8. I had the rudest, slowest, nastiest cashier today!
Guess it’s my fault for using self-checkout.
9. A woman is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs.
The male cashier says: “You must be single.”
He got fired.
10. I told my cashier a joke about cash registers.
It didn’t register.
11. I bought a bottle of water and paid with a $10 bill.
The cashier said, “Would you like your change?”
I said, “No thanks, I’ll keep my personality the same.”
12. “I’d like this book on revenge, please.”
Cashier: “You’ll pay for that.”
13. Why do boomers make terrible cashiers?
They’re afraid of change.
14. A penny saved is…
A cashier’s nightmare during a rush.
15. Cashiers have a thing for me.
They keep checking me out.
16. How do attractive men pay for things?
They handsome money to the cashier.
17. My mom won’t let my dad go to the store anymore.
The cashier keeps checking him out.
18. So the T-Rex cashier says, “Sorry for the wait!”
“…We’re a little short-handed.”
19. Why did the cashier bring a ladder to work?
Because business was looking up!
20. How did the cashier get promoted?
They checked all the right boxes.
21. I thanked the grocery cashier for bagging my items.
They said, “Thanks for not making it awkward!”
22. Why didn’t the cashier get the joke?
It didn’t register.
23. What do you call a happy cashier?
A check-out cheerleader.
24. Why was the cashier so good at music?
Great at handling change.
25. I asked the cashier if I could pay with a pun.
She said, “Only if it’s well delivered.”
26. A man walks into a grocery store and says, “Three pounds of potatoes, please.”
Cashier: “Sorry, we only sell kilos now.”
Man: “Okay, I’ll take three pounds of kilos.”
27. Why can’t grocery store clerks pick their coworkers?
Because baggers can’t be choosers.
28. Why did the cashier go to therapy?
Too many emotional checkouts.
29. I asked the cashier how her day was going.
She said, “I’m counting the minutes — literally.”
30. Why do cashiers make good actors?
They’re always on cue.
31. I walked into the grocery store with confidence.
Walked out with three bags and a receipt for regret.
32. The cashier complimented my reusable bag.
I said, “Thanks! It carries emotional baggage too.”
33. Why was the cashier always calm?
Because they knew how to keep their register.
34. Cashier rings up trash bags. Customer: “I don’t know why I keep buying these.”
“I just end up throwing them out anyway.”
35. Instead of “Here’s your receipt,” cashiers should say:
“Will you throw this away for me?”
36. Why did the cashier wear sunglasses?
Because her future in retail was just that bright.
37. What did the happy customer say as he left the store?
Good buy!
38. Why are cashier shifts like game shows?
There’s always a line and someone’s losing change.
39. How do cashiers stay fit?
All that lifting of expectations.
40. At the bank, I told the cashier I’d like a joint account.
He asked, “With whom?” I said, “Anyone rich.”