Life as a computer programmer is full of ups and downs—and sometimes, those ups are really just fixing one bug, only to find another one waiting. But through all the challenges of coding, programmers find a way to laugh at the quirks of their work. These 30 Computer Programmer Jokes offer a hilarious take on the world of development, from dealing with frustrating syntax errors to the oddities of working with legacy code. If you’re a programmer, these jokes will resonate with every line of code you’ve written.
30 Jokes Every Programmer Needs in Their Codebase
1. You are the ; to my statements.
2. Why did the programmer quit her job?
Because she didn’t get arrays.
3. What did the Java Code say to the C code?
You’ve got no class.
4. A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
5. Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
6. Things aren’t always #000000 and #FFFFFF.
7. Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
Because they don’t C#.
8. A programmer is heading out to the grocery store, so his wife tells him: “get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
He returns with 13 gallons of milk.
9. A programmer’s day:
An optimist says: ‘The Glass is Half-Full.’
A pessimist says: ‘The Glass is Half-Empty.’
A programmer says: ‘The Glass is Twice as Large as Necessary.’
10. “Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
11. “Knock knock!”
“Who is there?”
“Yah!”
“Yah, who?”
“No not Yahoo, Google.”
12. Einstein developed a theory about space.
And it was about time, too!
13. Math is either extremely frustrating or extremely satisfying, there is no in between.
14. There’s no place like 127.0.0.1.
15. Why do programmers take so long in the shower?
They read the directions on the shampoo bottle and follow them to the letter: Lather, rinse, and repeat.
16. A computer programmer rushes his wife to the hospital where she gives birth to their child.
The doctor first hands the baby to the programmer. “Well?” his wife says impatiently. “Is it a boy, or is it a girl?”
Smiling, the programmer replies, “Yes.”
17. If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.
18. My love for you has no bugs.
19. What is the most used language in programming?
Profanity.
20. Real programmers count from 0.
21. My mind is like an internet browser, 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, ads popping up everywhere, I have no idea where the music is coming from.
22. while (alive) { eat(); sleep (); code ();}
23. There are 2 types of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data…
24. What do you call a programmer who vomits at IHOP?
A stack overflow.
25. Computers will never fully replace humans until they learn to laugh at the boss’s jokes.
26. Binary: It’s as easy as 01, 10, 11.
27. All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.
28. Algorithm: words used by programmers when they don’t want to explain what they did.
29. A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it means it’s not good.
30. My attitude isn’t bad, it’s in beta.