Art may be subjective, but a good joke is universally funny! Whether you’re a painter, sculptor, or just someone who appreciates a creative punchline, these 100 artist jokes will colour your day with laughter. From puns about Picasso to jokes that will make even the grumpiest artist crack a smile, this collection is sure to be a work of comedic genius!
-
Which farm animal was also a famous painter?
Vincent van Goat. -
Why was the artist a good cowboy?
He was quick on the draw. -
What did the blackboard say?
I’ve got a chalk full of problems. -
How do artists greet each other?
Yellow. -
Why shouldn’t you sculpture for granite?
Because that’d be stone-cold. -
What was the artist’s motto when it came to home repairs?
When it paint broke, don’t fix it. -
Why did the artist decide not to quit running?
He was on the home sketch. -
What farm animal is a cubist artist?
Pablo Pigcaso. -
What do you call someone hanging out by the wall?
Art. -
Why is being an artist difficult?
The job is not for the paint of art! -
What happened after the artist was told her painting was horrible?
She got the picture. -
Why couldn’t the man afford expensive art?
He had no Monet. -
Why was the artist hauled to court?
To face the mosaic. -
What did the art teacher say to her student?
You are one art cookie! -
Why did the investor buy art?
For art appreciation. -
What did the potter say when he destroyed his piece of art?
That’s just the clay it is! -
Why did the artist fail his sketching exam?
It wasn’t 2b. -
What happened to the sketch artist that fell down?
He was caught between a chalk and a hard place. -
Did you hear about the two artists who had an argument?
They decided to call it a draw. -
Why did the artist cross the street?
To crosshatch to the other side. -
What did the artist ask the preschooler?
Can you count to pen? -
How come you can’t trust an artist?
Because they’re sketchy. -
Why did the painting go to jail?
It was framed. -
What happens if art becomes imprisoned?
We’d have to Freda art. -
Why should you take what artists say with a pinch of salt?
Because they always sketch the truth! -
Why are artists so good at mountaineering?
Because there paint no mountain high enough! -
Why do artists take care how they present themselves?
When you meet someone, they don’t want to get off to a bad art! -
Why did the artist cry when he spilled his scrambled eggs all over his art supplies?
He was having an eggs and stencils crisis. -
What did the angry artist say?
Don’t get me arted! -
What happens when a colour blind artist visits an art gallery?
Everything is a pigment of the imagination. -
What did the artist say to his old friend?
Let’s clay in touch. -
Why did the artist go for class covered in yeast and flour?
To be the perfect roll-model. -
How can an artist fill in a CV?
Drawing from experience. -
Why aren’t artists afraid of the big cats exhibit at the zoo?
Because it’s just the lion’s pen. -
Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil?
It’s pointless. -
Where do vampires go to buy their art supplies?
Pencilvania. -
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress?
You sure look the art. -
What did the potter say when he woke up?
It’s just another clay in life. -
What did the artist say to his girlfriend?
It was pigment to be. -
Why did the artist use the bathroom?
Because she was consta-painted. -
What do artists like to wake up early?
To kick-art the day. -
How did the art teacher encourage her students?
Be sure to move in the light direction. -
Is it hard to find artists?
No, you can do so quite easel-y. -
Why did the artist’s van run out of gas?
Because she had no Monet to make the Van Gough. -
Why was the arrogant artist disliked?
He thought he was all that and pen some. -
How do you know an artist is the best?
When she can draw a crowd. -
Why don’t artists worry?
Because they paintbrush it off. -
Why was the artist in an argument?
She wanted to have the final clay. -
What did the painting say to the paintbrush?
Hey now, easel up! -
What did the auctioneer say to the artist?
Going, going…drawn! -
What is a painting done by a cat called?
A paw-trait. -
Did you hear about the new art show?
I’m etching to go! -
My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks.
He’s a pickup artist. -
Why didn’t the artist worry about tomorrow?
Because tomorrow is just another clay. -
What is a pirate’s favourite hobby?
Arrrrrrt. -
What is Earth without “art” in it?
Eh. -
Why did the artist go to the lounge?
Because it was her comfort tone. -
The artist was enchanted with the painting from Paris.
It was Louvre at first sight. -
What was the art teacher’s favourite swimming technique?
The brushstroke. -
If Van Gogh were alive today, what would the title of his autobiography be?
The Starry of my Life. -
What did the painter say to the wall?
Another crack like that and I’ll have to plaster you! -
What did the artist tell the dentist?
Matisse hurt! -
What time do artists wake up?
At the crack of drawn! -
What is it called when someone mislabels a colour?
False ac-hue-sation. -
What happened when the artist tried to paint a picture of the sky?
He blue it. -
Why did the student throw a pack of crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test?
He wanted to pass with flying colours. -
What’s a mathematician’s favourite type of art?
Graphiti. -
Why did the art student hand in an empty sheet of paper?
He drew a blank. -
What degree do you need to write parking tickets?
Fine Arts. -
Why did the student decide against taking an art class in college?
It was too sketchy. -
Why did the student sign up for sculpting class?
He wanted to make six figures. -
Did you hear about the woman who married a rich art collector?
She was in it for the Monet. -
What did the canvas say to the paint?
“Stop brushing me off!” -
What do you call a drawing of a cow?
A moo-sterpiece. -
Why did the pencil go to school?
It wanted to improve its “lead”ership skills. -
What did the student say when the art teacher asked her why she was staring at an empty piece of paper?
“I’m drawing a blank.” -
What do you call a painting by a cat?
A purr-trait. -
Who’s the king of the pencil case?
The ruler. -
Can you name a famous barnyard painter?
Vincent van Goat or Pablo Pigcaso. -
What do pirates do in their free time?
They make arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. -
What do you call a drawing of a dog?
A pet-encil sketch. -
What’s an artist’s motto?
“Let’s paint the town red!” -
Why was the pencil such a good comedian?
It knew how to draw out laughter. -
What did the art thief say to the museum curator?
Give me all your Monet. -
Did you see the display of still-life art?
It wasn’t at all moving. -
What’s an artist’s favourite fruit?
Draw-berries. -
How does an artist get into a secret society?
They draw the right conclusions. -
Why did the artist go to therapy?
To sketch out their problems. -
How did the artist win the painting prize?
They had strokes of genius. -
What was the artist’s favourite swimming stroke?
The brushstroke. -
What is Salvador Dali’s favourite thing to eat for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. -
Why did the artist bring a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains. -
What kind of shoes do artists wear?
Sketchers. -
What do famous artists do when they make a mistake?
They face the mosaic. -
Why did the artist add sugar to their paint?
To make it more palatable. -
How do old artists get around?
Quite easel-y. -
What’s an artist’s favourite vegetable?
Arti-choke. -
How did the portrait artist find the missing paintbrush?
They brushed up on their detective skills. -
Why do people like talking to artists?
Because they make good canvas-ation. -
How does a true artist write their CV?
They draw from their experience.